Pop! What a Happy Sound

Its Friday, TGIF and all. Throughout this great country of ours, one sound reverberates around it. POP! That's the sound of a beer bottle or can being opened.

Let's face it, we Americans like to drink. Come to think of it , so does everybody else! Let's see, I know the Irish do, the Germans, the Russians, The Brits, etc. Drinking is the one universal thing we can all agree about(unless you are a real devout person). We like to do it. I've already freely admitted to you that I do. Hell, I took up running 18 years ago(but, now I shuffle), just so I could drink the beer I wanted without weighing 300 lbs.

Why is alcohol so popular? well, for one thing it tastes great. Nothing like a good cold one after work, after mowing the lawn, after sex, after the last one. There's nothing like a good cold one after your last beer. That is the problem, beer liking is accumulative. After a while, any excuse is a good excuse to have a beer.

So God in his infinite wisdom, gave us a reason to not drink...work. Let's face it, if we were all rich and affluent, and didn't have to work, we would all be drunk all the time! Since God invented work, most of us have to be semi moderate about our consumption during the work week. The people who haven't learned to be moderate, are the ones we walk around on the sidewalks on the way to work.
Liking something is one thing, being controlled by it is another. The problem with ALL drugs, is the temptation to do them exclusively, and to hell with everything else. Not real good if you have a wife, and kids counting on you.

When I was a teenager, my Dad told me (over a hang-over), If you can't handle your booze, don't drink it! Good words to live by. Yes, its Friday, you probably had a killer of a week; have fun, but know when to say when.

(wow, that was one difficult post, now where did I leave that bottle opener?)

A Day In the Life Of Me (At 73)

I am a middle-aged guy. I recently turned 53. Like most middle-aged people, my body is showing the signs of wear and tear. My hearing is getting worse, my hair is starting to show a touch of gray, my old wrestling injuries are coming back to nag me, I forget where I left my keys, etc., etc.

They say that the 50's are the youth of old age; well, if that's the case, I'm not sure I want to find out how the "geezer" days of old age are going to turn out.
With that in mind, I have a song depicting how I envision life twenty years from now. It's sung to the tune of "A Day In the Life", by the Beatles:

I woke up today, oh boy!
I'm still alive, I see, what a joy!
Went down to eat some breakfast,
But it just had to wait,
I couldn't masticate (My teeth are gone).

I saw a dirty film today, oh boy!
I got a hard on, a rare joy!
I went and showed it to my wife,
Thought I might get a poke,
But she just cracked a joke!

I don't turn....her....on!

Stood up, to stretch my back,
But my muscles started to cramp.
So I went to the bar and had a shot,
I was in a spot (if you know what I mean).

Fell down, and grabbed my thigh,
Took some pills to get me by,
I crawled outside to have a smoke,
But I had a stroke
And I let out a big scream...

Ahhh, Ah, Ah, Ahhh, Ah, Ah, Ahhh, Ah, Ah, Ahhhh!
Ahhh, Ah, Ah, Ahhh, Ah, Ah, Ahhh, Ah, Ah, Ahhhh!

I saw the Doc today, oh boy!
"Fit as a fiddle," he said, oh what joy!
He said I'd live to see ninety-three,
But I just had to cringe,
Gotta get some booze because I'm goin' on a binge!

I can't go onnnnnnnnn.......!

A Day In the Life (Of Me At 73)

I am a middle-aged guy. I recently turned 53. Like most middle-aged people, my body is showing the signs of wear and tear. My hearing is getting worse, my hair is starting to show a touch of gray, my old wrestling injuries are coming back to nag me, I forget where I left my keys, etc., etc.

They say that the 50's are the youth of old age; well, if that's the case, I'm not sure I want to find out how the "geezer" days of old age are going to turn out. With that in mind, I have a song depicting how I envision life twenty years from now. It's sung to the tune of "A Day In the Life", by the Beatles:

I woke up today, oh boy!
I'm still alive, I see, what a joy!
Went down to eat some breakfast,
But it just had to wait,
I couldn't masticate (My teeth are gone).

I saw a dirty film today, oh boy!
I got a hard on, a rare joy!
I went and showed it to my wife,
Thought I might get a poke,
But she just cracked a joke!

I don't turn....her....on!

Stood up, to stretch my back,
But my muscles started to cramp.
I went to the bar and had a shot,
I was in a spot (if you know what I mean).

Fell down, and grabbed my thigh,
Took some pills to get me by,
I crawled outside to have a smoke,
But I had a stroke
And I let out a big scream...

Ahhh, Ah, Ah, Ahhh, Ah, Ah, Ahhh, Ah, Ah, Ahhhh!
Ahhh, Ah, Ah, Ahhh, Ah, Ah, Ahhh, Ah, Ah, Ahhhh!

I saw the Doc today, oh boy!
"Fit as a fiddle," he said, oh what joy!
He said I'd live to see ninety-three,
But I just had to cringe,
Gotta get some booze because I'm goin' on a binge!

I can't go onnnnnnnnn.......!

Santa Red Neck Is Coming to Town

Christmas comes early each year to our normally quiet community here in Homestead, Florida. Santas come by the droves, not in sleighs, but in RVs, and campers, and pick-up trucks. They come here each year to watch the last NASCAR race of the year; the one that decides the NASCAR champion, The Homestead-Miami Ford 400. These Santas don't come with a bag of presents, but with pockets full of cash. It is a welcome influx of cash for the hotels, shops, trailer parks, and bars of Homestead, and Florida City.

My wife, who tends a bar in Florida City, looks forward to this big three day party every year. After bar tending here the last five years, she knows that these folks love to drink, party, and lavish her with piles of dough; and there are few things she likes more than making lots of money.

The average NASCAR fan won't win many Nobel Prizes, or even spelling bees in their lifetime; but they remember her little bar, and they even remember her name, so it is like a big reunion for everyone. These folks may be a little grubby, and their smiles remind you of a gap toothed jack-o-lantern; but they are usually well behaved, and very generous. Just be sure that you have countless cases of ice cold Coors Light, Budweiser, and Jack Daniels, on hand.

With all the drinking going on, it is a wonder to me how they can even find the race track, let alone keep track of how many left turns their favorite driver Billy Bob Kyle has successfully negotiated but, they do. In fact, they really get into the race. Many of them rent out head sets so they can listen in on the communication going back and forth from the pit crew chief, and the driver. Crackle, static "hey, that was a real impressive left turn yew made back there, Jimmy Joe Don, now be careful, 'cus yew got another one coming up right quick" Crackle, pop "yeah Benny Earl Ray, the car's running real smooth right now, hold on, gotta another one of them left turns coming up." Sheer excitement!

I'm not really big on NASCAR racing; just five minutes of watching these guys going around in circles puts me in a trance. But, as long as they keep coming down here every year with pockets full of cash, we'll be glad to welcome them here. "Hey, Kenny Jeb Kirk, how the hell are yew? Its good to see yew agin! Did yew bring your sister?"

This article is from my blog "Mike's Common Sense". My blog is a common person's perspective on a variety of subjects; Spirituality, humor. life, and politics.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Michael_Muehleisen

Pop! What a Happy Sound

It's Friday...TGIF and all.

Throughout this great country of ours, one sound reverberates around it: POP! That's the sound of a beer bottle or can being opened. Let's face it -- we Americans like to drink. Come to think of it , so does everybody else! Let's see, I know the Irish do, the Germans, the Russians, the Brits, et al. Drinking is the one universal thing we can all agree on (unless you are a real devout person). We like to do it. I've already freely admitted to you that I do. Hell, I took up running 18 years ago (but now I shuffle) just so I could drink the beer I wanted without weighing 300 lbs.

Why is alcohol so popular? Well, for one thing, it tastes great. Nothing like a good cold one after work, after mowing the lawn, after sex, after the last one...There's nothing like a good cold one after your last beer. That is the problem. Beer-liking is accumulative. After a while, any excuse is a good excuse to have a beer.

So God, in his infinite wisdom, gave us a reason to not drink...work. Let's face it, if we were all rich and affluent, and didn't have to work, we would all be drunk all the time! Since God invented work, most of us have to be semi-moderate about our consumption during the work week. The people who haven't learned to be moderate are the ones we walk around on the sidewalks on the way to work. Liking something is one thing; being controlled by it is another.

The problem with all drugs is the temptation to do them exclusively -- and to hell with everything else. Not real good if you have a wife and kids counting on you. When I was a teenager, my Dad told me (over a hangover), "If you can't handle your booze, don't drink it!" Good words to live by.

Yes, it's Friday; you probably had a killer of a week. Have fun, but know when to say when.

(Wow, that was one difficult post... Now where did I leave that bottle opener?)
.