I Sing Like a Toad

Like most people, after a hard week of work I feel the need to decompress; you know let my hair down and have some fun. I often like to have fun by going down to the local watering hole where they have karaoke every Friday night. Like most of the people in there, it often takes a couple of rounds of brews to get the guts to go up and sing. Well that's what I call it, singing; however a few of the locals in there would disagree with me on that.

For these folks, and everybody else that has to put up with people like me that think they can sing on Karaoke night; I have written a song. It is sung to the tune "King of the Road"

Karaoke, Friday night,

A few drinks, I feel alright.

Tin ear, no musical sense,

I smoke lots of cigarettes.

Ah but, two hours of sipping drink,

That's when I start to think,

I'm gonna get up there and sing like Elvis, but I

Sing like a toad.

Bob Segar, the Ramones,

I get up, and they all moan.

I think that I just can't miss,

But my voice is as flat as piss.

Ah but, When I get up on that stage,

I think that I am all the rage.

I think I sound like Sinatra, but I

Sing like a toad.

I know every singer, and every song,

All of the patrons, we all get along.

But every time I get up there to sing,

They all put in ear plugs so they can't hear a thing...

Karaoke, Friday night,

A few drinks I feel alright.

Tin ear no musical sense,

I smoke lots of cigarettes.

Ah but two hours of sipping my drink,

That's when I start to think.

I'm gonna get up there and sing like Elvis, but I,

Sing like a toad.

King of the Road

I Sing Like a Toad

Like most people, after a hard week of work I feel the need to decompress; you know let my hair down and have some fun. I often like to have fun by going down to the local watering hole where they have karaoke every Friday night. Like most of the people in there, it often takes me a couple of shots of “liquid courage” to get the guts to go up and sing. Well that’s what I call it, singing; however a few of the locals in there would disagree with me on that.

>

For these folks, and everybody else that has to put up with people like me that think they can sing on Karaoke night; I have written a song. It is sung to the tune “King of the Road”

>

Karaoke, Friday night,

A few drinks, I feel alright.

Tin ear, no musical sense,

I smoke lots of cigarettes.

Ah but, two hours of sipping drink,

That’s when I start to think,

I’m gonna get up there and sound like Elvis, but I

Sing like a toad.

>

Bob Segar, the Ramones,

I get up, and they all moan.

I think that I just can't miss,

But my voice is as flat as piss.

Ah but, When I get up on that stage,

I think that I am all the rage.

I think I sound like Sinatra, but I

Sing like a toad.

>

I know every singer, and every song,

All of the patrons, we all get along.

But every time I get up there to sing,

They all put in ear plugs so they can’t hear a thing…

>

Karaoke, Friday night,

A few drinks I feel alright.

Tin ear no musical sense,

I smoke lots of cigarettes.

Ah but two hours of sipping my drink,

That’s when I start to think.

I’m gonna get up there and sound like Elvis, but I,

Sing like a toad.

Pop! What a Happy Sound

It's Friday...TGIF and all.

Throughout this great country of ours, one sound reverberates around it: POP! That's the sound of a beer bottle or can being opened. Let's face it -- we Americans like to drink. Come to think of it , so does everybody else! Let's see, I know the Irish do, the Germans, the Russians, the Brits, et al. Drinking is the one universal thing we can all agree on (unless you are a real devout person). We like to do it. I've already freely admitted to you that I do. Hell, I took up running 18 years ago (but now I shuffle) just so I could drink the beer I wanted without weighing 300 lbs.

Why is alcohol so popular? Well, for one thing, it tastes great. Nothing like a good cold one after work, after mowing the lawn, after sex, after the last one...There's nothing like a good cold one after your last beer. That is the problem. Beer-liking is accumulative. After a while, any excuse is a good excuse to have a beer.

So God, in his infinite wisdom, gave us a reason to not drink...work. Let's face it, if we were all rich and affluent, and didn't have to work, we would all be drunk all the time! Since God invented work, most of us have to be semi-moderate about our consumption during the work week. The people who haven't learned to be moderate are the ones we walk around on the sidewalks on the way to work. Liking something is one thing; being controlled by it is another.

The problem with all drugs is the temptation to do them exclusively -- and to hell with everything else. Not real good if you have a wife and kids counting on you. When I was a teenager, my Dad told me (over a hangover), "If you can't handle your booze, don't drink it!" Good words to live by.

Yes, it's Friday; you probably had a killer of a week. Have fun, but know when to say when.

(Wow, that was one difficult post... Now where did I leave that bottle opener?)
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