We Hope You Have a Miserable Flight With Us Today

I work for one of the major airlines here in Miami. The good news is I get to fly for free,(provided there is an unused seat available) the bad news is I get treated just like everybody else (crappy).

It seems that the airlines today are trying to get us to forget that you have to pay for checked baggage, overkill security, no snacks, etc. by treating us all like seven year old children.

Flight Attendant (FA) training now resembles Nazi nun training as evidenced by the way these people patrol the aisles, looking for reasons to berate the passengers. Heaven forbid your seat is inclined 1" during take off or landing, because you will be made to feel as if you are the lowest of low.

I had my earphones on, and plugged into the planes' audio system as we taxied for take off. One FA stopped to yell at me, " all personal electric devices have to be turned off until after take-off!" I had every passenger within ear shot of me looking at me as if I were a felon. I then pointed out to the nice lady, that my headphones were plugged into the armrest and not some offending i-pod. Without a word, she just kept going looking for the next low down perpetrator.

Throughout that whole flight, we had another Nazi nun, er, FA, talking over the planes public address, telling us what was now permissible, and what was not permissible.

I am not a mechanic, but I do know that the shielding for the aircraft's radio system is good enough that every person on board could be operating ten i-pods or cell phones each, and not effect it. So if that is the case, why the harassment? Could it be that they have nothing better to do?

Like I mentioned, they no longer hand out pillows and blankets, no longer serve meals or snacks, and no longer assist passenger needs.

But, heaven forbid you HAVE to go to the restroom when the "fasten seat belt" sign is on. You will have every FA on that aircraft tell you to go back to your seat as you walk down the aisle, even if its two hours before landing.

Welcome to the friendly skies!

Everybody's Talking

Craig Wilson, of USAToday, wrote in his weekly column "The Final Word", today about the proliferation of cell phones. It was a cute article, and since we are about the same age, and from the same hometown(Rochester,NY), I related well to him. One problem, Craig, you never really talked about the main point. What the hell is everybody talking about?

Now I admit, that I am somewhat older, than the average cell phone user; but I can't imagine that they could find so much to talk about. It is mind numbing. I have 700 minutes, on my cell phone. I never use them all. I think that cell phones are great, they certainly make life a lot easier, but unless you're in sales, most people are just talking too much. Now a days it is a rarity to pass another motortist, and not see them talking or even texting (gasp! I've seen it!) while they are supposedly driving.

MIKE'S LAW: 1) If you have nothing to say, shut up. 2) If you don't know what you are talking about, shut up.

I live by both of those laws, and I wish more people would. It's not just cell phones, there are certainly enough people out there, that don't need them. You know as soon as they walk in the room, because they come in yapping away, and don't stop until they leave. They pontificate about anything and everything as if they wrote the encyclopedia. I recognize that these people just love to hear themselves talk. If you are one of these people, please refer to law #2.

We have one at work. He really isn't a bad guy, but boy does he love to hear himself talk. You know when he's coming in the breakroom, because you can hear him coming down the hall. And boy does he know it all! Like I said, he really isn't a bad guy, but I wish he were, because I really want to hate him.

The way I see it, there's a lot of people talking, but they aren't saying much.

Mr. Nice Guy

I have one motto, “Nice guys finish first (except in football)”. It is not much of a motto, but I do try to live it.

I have taught my son, “It doesn’t cost you anything to be nice to someone”, and it is true. How can it be, that something so easy to do, and so cheap to execute, be so positive?

That is easy to answer if you happen to be the recipient of someone being nice to you. Having someone do you a good deed or a kind gesture can make your whole day if you are on the receiving end. If a total stranger can make your day by being nice, think how many people’s lives you could positively affect just by being nice to them. The thought literally boggles the mind.

If each and every one of us performed just one good deed per day, like the Boy Scouts try to do, it would change the world. Tensions between people would be slashed, blood pressures would drop. People would relax and enjoy life for the blessing it truly is.

Is it really all that easy? Well, yes, and no. The concept of it is easy to grasp, but the practice is not so easy. In order to be nice to someone, you actually have to be able to think outside your personal bubble. You have to come out of your shell, and be aware of the other people around you.

Lately this is getting harder and harder to do. Everyone has a cell phone, i-pod, or P.D.A., etc. occupying their attention. It is very easy to get wrapped up in yourself, and not notice other people.

It really is easy to be a nice guy. In the course of a normal day there are many times when you can be nice to someone if you are on the look out. Just try not to get too wrapped up in yourself, your worries, and problems.

All it takes to make some one’s day is to hold a door, smile and say good morning when you pass someone, offer the use of your cell phone for someone stranded on the side of the road; the possibilities are endless. All it takes is for you to be aware of other people, and to do something nice when the situation allows it.

There is something strange about being nice to people, it spreads

Everybody's Talkin'

Craig Wilson, of USA Today, wrote in his weekly column "The Final Word", today about the proliferation of cell phones. It was a cute article, and since we are about the same age, and from the same hometown(Rochester,NY), I related well to him. One problem, Craig, you never really talked about the main point. What the hell is everybody talking about?

Now I admit, that I am somewhat older, than the average cell phone user; but I can't imagine that they could find so much to talk about. It is mind numbing. I have 700 minutes, on my cell phone. I never use them all. I think that cell phones are great, they certainly make life a lot easier, but unless you're in sales, most people are just talking too much. Now a days it is a rarity to pass another motortist, and not see them talking or even texting (gasp! I've seen it!) while they are supposedly driving.

MIKE'S LAW: 1) If you have nothing to say, shut up. 2) If you don't know what you are talking about, shut up.

I live by both of those laws, and I wish more people would. It's not just cell phones, there are certainly enough people out there, that don't need them. You know as soon as they walk in the room, because they come in yapping away, and don't stop until they leave. They pontificate about anything and everything as if they wrote the encyclopedia. I recognize that these people just love to hear themselves talk. If you are one of these people, please refer to law #2.

We have one at work. He really isn't a bad guy, but boy does he love to hear himself talk. You know when he's coming in the break room, because you can hear him coming down the hall. And boy does he know it all! Like I said, he really isn't a bad guy, but I wish he were, because I really want to hate him.

The way I see it, there's a lot of people talking, but they aren't saying much.

Things That Irk Me

I am normally an up beat positive type of a guy. I do my best to keep a positive attitude even under the most stressful situations, but there are certain things that people do that will never fail to irk me. Some people call these things “pet peeves”, but I prefer to call them “things that irk me” (I just think ‘irk' is a great, under used word). So here it is, Mike’s official list of “Things That Irk Me”.

1) Push handles on pull doors

2) People who just have to pull out in front of you, when there are no cars behind you, then make a left hand turn 100 ft. down the road.

3) Loud mouths

4) Greedy people

5) Hooray for me, and f#&k you, type of people

6) Drivers waiting to make a left hand turn in front of you that won’t move into the center of the intersection.

7) Power driven policemen who forget that they are being paid to serve and protect.

8) Warm beer

9) Cigarette smokers who complain when I light up a cigar.

10)People who love to tease and, dish out verbal abuse, but get indignant, and offended when you do the same to them.

11)People talking on cell phones when they are paying for their groceries.

12)People sending text messages on cell phones while they are (supposedly) driving.

13)Tailgaters

14)Wet cigars

15)Guys who can’t lift the toilet seat to piss

16)People who steal your lunch at work

17)Nosy, gossiping people

18)A bed that smells like “dog”

19)Slow golfers

20)Shoppers that block the whole aisle with their shopping carts

21)Cars that won’t start

22)Anything that won’t work, when I want it to

23)Flat tires

24)Beautiful women, that know that they are beautiful

25)Spam

26)Telemarketers calling at suppertime

27)Commercials that insult my manhood and, intelligence

28)Dead cell phone batteries

29)Racists

30)Varmints, flies, and cockroaches

31)Neighborhood cats in heat

32)Potholes

33)Not being able to find my car keys at 3:45 AM, because they weren’t hung up.

34)Pull handles on push doors

Wow, I never realized there are so many things that irk me! What was that I was saying before about being positive and up beat? Forget that!

Mr. Nice Guy

I have one motto, “Nice guys finish first (except in football)”. It is not much of a motto, but I do try to live it.

I have taught my son, “It doesn’t cost you anything to be nice to someone”, and it is true. How can it be that something so easy to do, and so cheap to execute, be so positive?

That is easy to answer if you happen to be the recipient of someone being nice to you. Having someone do you a good deed or a kind gesture can make your whole day if you are on the receiving end. If a total stranger can make your day by being nice, think how many people’s lives you could positively affect just by being nice to them. The thought literally boggles the mind.

If each and every one of us performed just one good deed per day, like the Boy Scouts try to do, it would change the world. Tensions between people would be slashed, blood pressures would drop. People would relax and enjoy life for the blessing it truly is.

Is it really all that easy? Well, yes, and no. The concept of it is easy to grasp, but the practice is not so easy. In order to be nice to someone, you actually have to be able to think outside your personal bubble. You have to come out of your shell, and be aware of the other people around you.

Lately this is getting harder and harder to do, everyone has a cell phone, i-pod, or P.D.A., etc. occupying their attention. It is very easy to get wrapped up in yourself, and not notice other people.

It really is easy to be a nice guy. In the course of a normal day there are many times when you can be nice to someone if you are on the look out. Just try not to get too wrapped up in yourself, your worries, and problems.

All it takes to make some one’s day is to hold a door, smile and say good morning when you pass someone, offer the use of your cell phone for someone stranded on the side of the road; the possibilities are endless. All it takes is for you to be aware of other people, and to do something nice when the situation allows it.

There is something strange about being nice to people, it spreads

Things That Irk Me

I am normally an up beat positive type of a guy. I do my best to keep a positive attitude even under the most stressful situations, but there are certain things that people do that will never fail to irk me. Some people call these things “pet peeves”, but I prefer to call them “things that irk me” (I just think ‘irk' is a great, under used word). So here it is Mike’s official list of “Things That Irk Me”.

1) Push handles on pull doors

2) People who just have to pull out in front of you, when there are no cars behind you, then make a left hand turn 100 ft. down the road.

3) Loud mouths

4) Greedy people

5) Hooray for me, and f#&k you, type of people

6) Drivers waiting to make a left hand turn in front of you that won’t move into the center of the intersection.

7) Power driven policemen who forget that they are being paid to serve and protect.

8) Warm beer

9) Cigarette smokers who complain when I light up a cigar.

10)People who love to tease and, dish out verbal abuse, but get indignant, and offended when you do the same to them.

11)People talking on cell phones when they are paying for their groceries.

12)People sending text messages on cell phones while they are (supposedly) driving.

13)Tailgaters

14)Wet cigars

15)Guys who can’t lift the toilet seat to piss

16)People who steal your lunch at work

17)Nosy, gossiping people

18)A bed that smells like “dog”

19)Slow golfers

20)Shoppers that block the whole aisle with their shopping carts

21)Cars that won’t start

22)Anything that won’t work, when I want it to

23)Flat tires

24)Beautiful women, that know that they are beautiful

25)Spam

26)Telemarketers calling at suppertime

27)Commercials that insult my manhood and, intelligence

28)Dead cell phone batteries

29)Racists

30)Varmints, flies, and cockroaches

31)Neighborhood cats in heat

32)Potholes

33)Not being able to find my car keys at 3:45 AM, because they weren’t hung up.

34)Pull handles on push doors

Wow, I never realized there are so many things that irk me! What was that I was saying before about being positive and up beat? Forget that!