Saturday, December 20, 2014

It Takes One To Know One

When I was a young boy, whenever I got into a spat with one of my brothers, we'd start calling each other names. My mother would break us up by saying, "Don't call people names; it takes one to know one."
It didn't mean much to me back then, but the older I get, the more I realize that she was right.

I started noticing a trend. It was always the fat person in our group who would call some stranger fat. Always. It was always the biggest slacker at work calling someone else lazy. It was always the most truth-challenged individual calling someone else a liar, etc, etc.

This is true with any number of human faults we can think of. Why? One Eastern philosophy claims that the outer world is, in fact, a reflection of our inner world, and that when you pick out a shortcoming in someone else, you are, in fact, recognizing it within yourself. This is a little heavy, but there does seem to be a connection of some type.

Try your own little experiment at work, at home, on your softball team...anyplace where you will be with a group of diverse people. Note when someone starts talking about someone else. Does that person have the same fault that he/she is picking out on someone else?

You might be surprised.

Wednesday, December 17, 2014

I Am Man, Hear Me Whine

Back in the early '70's, Helen Reddy had a hit song called, "I Am Woman", in which she starts out, "I am woman, hear me roar", which I thought was hokey, and all. I still do. But now that I am older, I realize that she was right. Women do all the roaring, while us guys do all the whining.
I should know. I am a man.
Why do men whine? I don't know, but I believe it has something to do with the male DNA. I remember when I was nine, and my mom wouldn't let me go over to Doug's house because his parent's both worked, and we may get into trouble. I'd say, "Come on, Mom, I'll be good!"
It didn't work.
When I was fourteen, I asked my dad if I could go to Woodstock. After a few seconds of contemplation he said, "No, you're too young." I responded, "Dad, I'm almost fifteen. Please let me go!" Unfortunately, it still didn't work.
Almost forty years later, I still whine when I don't get my way -- and it still doesn't work. You would think that I would adjust, change my game plan, so to speak. But no, I'm not that smart. You see, I am married. You ladies can laugh (which I know you are), but how else can a guy get his needs met?
"Honey, I have no clean shirts for work tomorrow." "Why didn't anyone make coffee this morning?" "C'mon, honey, it's Monday night!" "I have no cookies for bedtime!" "Your Lifetime Movie channel is turned up too loud!" ...
If whining were an art form, I'd be Picasso.
The truth is, I whine because it does work (once in a while). She'll do almost anything to get me to shut up.

Saturday, December 13, 2014

Over Coming Cause and Effect

We are spiritual beings living in physical bodies trying to navigate our way through the worlds of duality to reach our true home; the world of true spirit the soul plane. One of the most difficult challenges we face on our journey is known as cause and effect. In the worlds of duality there is always an action, followed by an equal and opposite reaction. Cause is the action, and effect is the reaction. As spiritual beings we need to strive to always be cause, and to never let ourselves become victims of being the effect of anything occurring outside of ourselves.
Life is full of challenges; things happen all of the time. It is very easy to believe that we are but leaves being blown about in the autumn wind with no real control over what happens in our lives. This is not true, and it is a negative way to think. Yes, things happen; and we often face a new and different challenge every day. These challenges are simply that, tests to find out how far we have progressed. These tests are determined by our karmic debt that we have accumulated over our many lifetimes. Every time we work through a challenge, we burn off accumulated karma.
We have several tools at our disposal to ensure that we are always acting as cause, and not as effect. A very important tool is a positive attitude; know that you are being tested and do your very best to over come your problem.
Another important tool is perseverance. Very few things in life that are important come easily. Thomas Edison once said that inventing something was ten percent inspiration, and ninety percent perspiration. This means that you should never give up on a problem; keep plugging away and do the best that you can. There is an old saying “God helps those who help themselves”. Truer words were never spoken. If you sit back and think that God will take care of your problems while you do nothing, you will often be sadly mistaken. However, if you do the best you can, and refuse to quit, you will find that God will be there to help when you really need it.
Another important tool is the HU. Whenever you feel weak, or that you can’t go on, sing HU. Singing HU whether silently to yourself, or aloud, will raise your vibrations, and fill you with love; these positive vibes will give you the strength you need to carry on.
Always remember, everything is as it should be. Don’t judge, don’t fret, and don’t worry, just do your best. God never presents any of us with a problem that we are not capable of handling.

Wednesday, December 10, 2014

With Good Will For All

I have talked about the need to love more than we ever have before. It's true, we do, but how do we accomplish this? After all, it's difficult enough to love those close to us at times, let alone total strangers and our enemies. We need to realize that it is impossible for anyone to love everyone with deep affection. Deep love should be given only to those closest to us: God, your immediate family, and closest friends. The rest of the world we should love through good will.
What is good will, and how do we give it to others?
There are many ways to do this. The first way is to allow everyone to be themselves. In other words, try not to judge others. This is not as easy as it sounds. We all have been raised with certain prejudices and opinions. It is very easy to slot people by their appearance. Long hair on a guy means he's a hippie; lots of tattoos and he's a punker. Then there are a whole slew of racial slants that we are all familiar with. When you see someone different from you, and you automatically slot him or her as this or that, catch yourself, realize that you are judging that person, then decide not to. Send some silent love to that person instead. That is good will.
Another way to practice good will is through acts of kindness. God said, "Whatever you should do for someone else, even the most wretched, you also do for me." In the past I talked about how each and everyone of us is a manifestation of The Holy Spirit in a different state of consciousness. Each and everyone of us, including our enemies, are divine, and should be treated with respect, no matter how ignorant they are of their divinity. When we are disrespected or hurt, be like Jesus and bless them, "for they know not what they do."
There are other ways to show good will; be creative and see how many other ways you can think to give love. Soon it will become second nature, and you will do them without even thinking about it. Every time you demonstrate love you are making a contribution to our collective unconscious, like putting money in a bank. When we have enough people contributing, we will push our collective consciousness into the next level, taking everyone else with us.
How about that for a gift of love?

Saturday, December 6, 2014

The Magic 8 Ball

I have a special post for you today. Thanks to my pig Wilbur having a temper tantrum today, knocking over a small bureau on my patio, I have been reconnected with my magic 8 ball. You know what I mean don’t you? Yeah, the 8 ball we all played with when we were kids. I love the magic 8 ball; it always has an answer for any question you might ask it.

Knowing that many of you have some burning questions for the magic 8 ball, I thought I would use my superior interrogating skills to get some answers for these popular questions from my magic 8 ball.

1) Oh, magic 8 ball, was ex President Bush a moron, or just a very bad President? “Most Certainly”
2) Magic 8 ball, Are the N.Y. Mets the biggest choke artists in the world, or just classic under achievers? “All signs point to yes”
3) Magic 8 ball, is Kim Jong Un of North Korea a mad man, or a puppet of China? “The way I see it yes”
4) Please tell me magic 8 ball, now that G.M. has received billions of dollars of bail out money, will they pick up shop and take it all to China, and take all of our money with them? “ Very likely”
5) Magic 8 ball, speaking of the people’s bail out of the lending institutions; did the people get a raw deal at the hands of their elected officials? “Bend over” (I didn’t even know that response was in there!)
6) Magic 8 ball, is President Obama a free thinker, or just a shill for big money, big business? “You don't want to know”
7) Magic 8 ball, judging from the most popular TV shows, are most Americans really stupid, or is the government putting too much fluoride into the drinking water? "It is certain"”
8) Oh, magic 8 ball, will the large oil companies ever allow the car manufacturers, to make and sell a gasoline-free car? “Out look not good”
9) Magic 8 ball, will South Florida be hit by a hurricane that will make Andrew look like a summer breeze? “Better not tell you”
10)Magic 8 ball, how did you feel after my pig Wilbur knocked you and your bureau over today? “ Answer hazy”
There you go folks, all of your important questions answered, by my impeccable interview with my magic 8 ball.
By the way, my 8 ball and I are available for private sessions, at a reasonable price.

I am re-posting my book Wilbur and Us on my web site. True stories of my life with a pig. Check it out.

Wednesday, December 3, 2014

Hurray For Me (And F#&k You)

Today's topic is corporate greed. There has always been a war of sorts going on between the "have" and the "have not" factions of the human race. Here in the USA, the gap between the two is wider than it has been since the great depression. The reason for this, is the climate brought about by the front men for the "haves", George W. Bush, and Barrack Obama.
In the past twelve years, Bush, and Obama have championed the elitists, while totally ignoring the working men and women of America. Under Bush's / Obama's watch, millions of decent paying jobs have been exported overseas, health benefits have been eroded, and workers pay slashed. All the while, prices for consumer goods, gasoline, and food, have risen steadily.
The "haves", in their smugness, are delirious with their gains, while the "have nots" are struggling everyday just to keep a roof over their heads, and food on their table.
Reagan, was an elitist, but with his trickle down economy, he saw to it that at least something got to the American workers. Not so under Presidents Bush and Obama. No profit is too great for corporate America as far as they are concerned. The fact that this profit is coming at the expense of the American people, is of no concern to them or their cronies.
They of course feel that they are entitled to these huge profits. In their shortsightedness, they do not realize that they are sewing the seeds for their own destruction. Since so many manufacturing jobs are now done overseas, the cost to make something is much less than it used to be. But the lower manufacturing costs have never been reflected in the cost to the consumer. The prices have never come down, thereby increasing profit margins of management. However, since there are so many unemployed people, and the ones who do have a job are making substantially less than they used to, no one can afford to buy anything unless they put themselves in huge debt. Then they end up defaulting on these loans, and everybody loses. Companies are going bankrupt at an alarming rate!
These assholes have out smarted themselves! When will they learn that a well paid work force is their best customer? We really need someone running this country that understands that there has to be a balance between profit margins, and worker pay. Otherwise we are in for one long hard depression.

Saturday, November 29, 2014

An Open Letter To Those Nice Folks At P.E.T.A.

(Ed. note) This is a work of humor, not to be taken literally (especially any mention of cannibalism).

The holidays are here and once again it is time to engage in that old holiday tradition; listening to P.E.T.A. complain about the unethical treatment of turkeys, cows, chickens, pigs, and other edible animals.
I for one, am all for the ethical treatment of animals; however I do like to eat them also (especially with dressing and turkey gravy). This may seem like an ethical dilemma, but trust me it is not. I can rectify this seeming enigma in several ways.
First of all PETA there is such a thing as a FOOD CHAIN. If you can’t find it in your PETA handbook, I am sure you can ask your seventh grade daughter to show it to you in her biology book. Take a good look; are turkeys, cows, and chickens, and pigs anywhere near the top? Of course not! Turkeys, cows, and chickens are just above plants, and dirt in the food chain pecking order. This means that they are on this planet to be eaten. Think about it; if we people were not eating them, some other animal would be. Who would you rather see stave to death; me, or some fox, coyote, or wolf? Knowing you PETA guys I don’t really want to know your response.
Secondly, I read a really good novel recently that contained a really good step by step description of how turkeys are slaughtered. First they are hung upside down which disorientates them, then they shock them to daze them, then they slit their throats. What ever happens next I really don’t think the turkeys care about. But the fact is the turkeys never know what hit them so it is a benevolent way to kill them. I personally believe the turkeys would rather die like this instead of being grabbed by the throat and shaken to asphyxiation by some fox. But really, does it matter? Turkeys have a brain roughly the size of an almond; they barely know seed from gravel. I personally feel you could kill them anyway you want, and they wouldn't know the difference.
Third, if all of us people who enjoyed eating animals suddenly stopped, how would YOU eat? Face it there is only a limited supply of tofu and wheat in this world. Maybe if we got hungry enough we could eat you! We know you tofu lovers are low in fat and probably very tasty. I think you guys should shut up and leave well enough alone while you are ahead and still have plenty of tofu.
Oh, by the way PETA if it will make you feel any better, I want you to know that my Thanksgiving turkey came back to haunt me over my inhumane treatment of him.
I never should have had that turkey salad sandwich right before bed!

Wednesday, November 26, 2014

The Circle Of Life

You have probably heard the saying, “life is a two way street”. This essentially means that one cannot expect to be on the receiving end of every relationship, all of the time. For any relationship to grow and mature there has to be a balance of giving, and receiving. If there is an imbalance, where one side gives too much, and the other is a glutton, the relationship becomes dysfunctional, and dies.
This need for a balance is true for more than just interpersonal relationships, but is true for life in general. Animals, take in oxygen, and release carbon dioxide. Plants take in Carbon dioxide, and release oxygen. This balance maintains life as we know it here on Earth. All of life is possible because there is a balance on a myriad of different levels. These balances create what I call the circle of life.
In order for each of us, as individuals, as cities, as countries, and as a species, to grow, and remain healthy; we need to be mindful of the need to keep balanced. This balance starts with each of us learning to be balanced from within.
Man is a spiritual being occupying a physical body. The needs of both, need to be taken care of, in order to live a balanced life. Everything is good, but too much of anything is bad. If one spends too much time in meditation, and spiritual contemplation, the vibrational level of the individual gets too high for the body to handle, and madness, and disease is the result. Research the lives of most saints, and you will see this pattern. If one indulges in carnal delights too much, the individual lowers himself to the animal level, and becomes a beast. To be truly balanced, one needs to contemplate on the spiritual, while not depriving the body of its carnal needs.
By maintaining the circle of life within ourselves, we will know how to keep a balance in our interpersonal relationships, our societal relations, and our ecology. No matter the level, imbalance causes, disease, and chaos, while balance is healthy and active.

Saturday, November 22, 2014

What Is HU?

HU is the ancient and secret name for God. It is a very powerful word that has been used as a mantra by the spiritually enlightened for thousands of years.
The use of HU has been driven underground for the last thousand years because of persecution by the religious leaders of many of the world’s religions. For example, one can only imagine the consequences for being caught singing the HU during the Spanish Inquisition, or during the Salem Witch Hunts. Times have changed, and the state of Man’s consciousness has grown since those times. The HU was reintroduced to the public by the Eck Master Paul Twitchell in 1965.
The HU is a nondenominational prayer of love to God. Any person, of any religion can sing the HU to raise their vibration level, and open their awareness to the love of God. The HU can be sung out loud or silently to one’s self.
Sing the HU before bed to promote lucid dreaming, and to work off karma during the dream state. Sing the HU during contemplation or meditation to facilitate out of body travel, and to connect with the audible life stream, The Eck. Sing the HU when sad, scared, or anxious to lift your spirits. Sing the HU when happy to show gratitude to God for all of Its blessings. Sing HU whenever you think about God. Every time I find a penny, I know God is sending me the message “A penny for your thoughts.” This helps me to turn my thoughts to God and to sing HU to It.
The great thing about singing the HU is that when you sing it, you not only raise your vibration level, but you contribute to raising the vibration level of all of humanity through our collective consciousness.
If you find that singing the HU works for you, please pass the word (literally) to others. Working together we can open the door to enlightening the world.

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Untimely Interruptions

It’s a real drag to get interrupted when you are doing something you really like. You know what I mean. I’ll stomach the traffic jams, I’ll wait in lines at the bank, I’ll even handle a root canal, but, I hate it when something messes up my free time
Being interrupted is like being violated. Nobody likes being violated.
Everyone is familiar with the “calling at suppertime, sales pitch guy”. I know everybody needs a job, but these people should be tied up and forced to listen to Yoko Ono records for forty eight straight hours (I wonder what level of hell that would equate with?). I mean we have to get serious with these people!
Some of you might know the “friend who always calls when you are getting nookie guy” I had a friend in college whose clairvoyance was astounding. He always knew when I was getting laid. It got so bad that I finally learned to take the phone off of the hook (remember when you did that?), whenever I got lucky.
Other people are familiar with “I live in the middle of the approach for a major runway”, or “I live next to the railroad track” problem. When I worked at a major airline in Rochester, NY, I had a very nice top half of a house to live in. The only problem was it was in a direct line with runway 22 (short for 220 degrees.). Every night when the best television shows came on, that’s when all of the jets would decide to land. “What did he just say!?” Is what we would yell to each other as lines of our favorite show were blotted out by the screaming jet engines. As if that wasn’t bad enough, every morning about 6:30 am they would all take off again roaring right over head, shaking the house, and rattling the windows. And it was even worse if you were trying to sleep off a hangover. (Ugh!)
Last but not least is the “Asshole dog next store, barking all night long” situation. You really want to get up, walk next door, and throttle the owner. “Are you deaf man! Muzzle that dog, stupid!” I would yell as I was shaking him by his throat. Fortunately, I am way too lazy to do that; I just swear at the dog all night as I toss and turn.
Let’s face it, untimely interruptions suck. Like I was saying, give me your best shot, water boarding, Chinese water torture, and flaming bamboo shoots up my fingernails, just don’t bother me!

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This site is more a column than a blog. I write humorous, spiritual, and political articles. Everything I write is designed to make you think; what you think is up to you.