Saturday, March 25, 2017

The Elusive First Song of Rock-N-Roll

For those of you who are new with my posts, I am a record collector, a rock and roll historian, and a former disc jockey. In this post, we will try to track down the elusive first rock and roll song.

There has been many attempts to place the first rock and roll song, but rock historians are widely in disagreement with that one song. There are many songs in the running, but before we get to that, what exactly constitutes a rock and roll song?

Black rhythm and blues is well known to be the cradle of rock and roll. It is distinguished by it’s 4/4 time, an up tempo beat, and an emphasis on the saxophone to carry the solo on the middle eight bars. Rock and roll is barely discernable from rhythm and blues, except rock and roll uses the guitar to play the middle eight solo rather than the saxophone. At least that’s my definition. The electric guitar is responsible for the emergence of rock and roll.

If you read any of the histories of rock and roll, the distinguished first song of rock and roll falls to one of the following: Wynonie Harris, with “Good Rocking At Midnight” (1953), “Sh Boom”, by The Chords, (1954), (the first “race” record to break the white top 10); and “Rock Around the Clock” by Bill Haley and the Comets (1954).

While these are all ground breaking songs, in one way or the other; they do not measure up to be the first rock and roll song. First of all, they all use the saxophone to carry the middle eight, and secondly, they post date the song I believe to be the “first” rock and roll song.

This song is “Saturday Night Fish Fry” pts. 1 and 2, by Louis Jordan (1949). Louis Jordan, was probably the first black man to gain wide acceptance by the white public. While mostly known as a black rhythm and blues star in the forties, he was the first to use the guitar as a solo instrument. His song repeatedly uses the phrase “it was rockin’ ”, and it was a huge hit, in the top ten juke box singles for the year.

For the first Rockabilly song ever, I nominate “We’re Going To Roll and Rock” by Eddie Zack and his cousin Ritchie in 1953. If there is an older rockabilly song, I am not aware of it.

I am proud to state that I own 78rpm copies of both of these songs. (We’re Going To Roll and Rock” is very rare.)

If you have a different opinion, please leave a comment.

Saturday, March 18, 2017

I'm Not Handy (Home Owners Plight)

I own a house. And like most houses, it occasionally needs routine maintenance. Well routine for most people. However, there is nothing routine about maintenance, when I am involved. Most people think that I am a pretty intelligent person (people who don't know me well anyway), but I just can't seem to get the knack of home repair. No matter how easy the job might appear, I end up making it look like I'm trying to tackle the "Manhattan Project".
So, for me, and all other inept people like me, I've written a song. It is sung to the tune of "I Want Candy" by the Strangeloves.

"I own a house, and things look bleak.
The paint is peeling, and the roof does leak.
Can't change a bulb, without falling off the ladder,
My wife she holds it, but that don't matter.

I'm not handy! I'm not handy!

Got a clogged sink, and the frig. don't work.
I should fix 'em, but I'm a jerk.
I don't know pliers from a wrench,
can't even find my work bench.

I'm not handy! I'm not handy!

Got a bad water heater, and a gutter that dangles,
There's nothing 'round here that I can't mangle.
Got a broken window and a ripped screen
if it gets any worse, I'm gonna scream

I'm not handy! I'm not handy!

No!

If, a wire gets a short,
I'll touch the wrong one get a jolt.
Got hospital bills by the pile,
I keep 9-1-1 on speed dial.

I'm not handy! I'm not handy!"

Saturday, March 11, 2017

It Was a Crappy Day

Today was kind of a crappy day. You all know what I mean, it was cold, it rained, and nothing at work went right. It was the kind of day you just want to bitch about. We all have these kinds of days, and we all like to bitch about them.


A guy on my crew was in just this kind of mood, when he commented to me that today was a crappy day. Just then a thought occurred to me that I voiced out loud to him. “There are a lot of people in the ground, that wish they had a crappy day like this.”


So, it is, we all have crappy days, interspersed with good ones; but the fact is, we have days, and we should enjoy them all. So, life is not a bed of roses, but it is better than having no life at all. I believe my comment, as morbid as it was, helped brighten the day of my co-worker, and made him think.


I hope I did the same for you.

Saturday, March 4, 2017

The Power Is Love

The age-old battle for Man to figure out is, "Do I try to acquire power, or do I follow the path of love?"

A quick look through our past shows that a vast majority of people are in the business of getting power. The pitiful few that have sought love are the martyrs that we all are so familiar with. Even in our so-called "enlightened times" the occultists, the religions, the political systems -- most everybody -- is very interested in power.

Power is, as they say, intoxicating. It must be some some really good shit, considering the millions of people murdered for the sake of power.

MIKE'S LAW: "The final lesson to be learned is love."

Power is for the ego, or the "small self". The ego has a need to have attention paid to it. The more attention paid to an ego, the greater its feelings of self-importance. The more self-importance an ego feels, the farther that ego places itself from others. This is the breeding ground for all kinds of atrocities.

When one seeks love over power, the ego shrinks. One starts to relate to others -- to care. One starts to think about something other than the small self. This is a major step in one's spiritual evolution.

Power is always held closely, lest you lose it, but to be had, one has to give love.

That's the great thing about love. You can give away all you want, and you will never run out. The more love you give, the more you receive; and there is nothing more intoxicating than love.

That's the power of love.

Saturday, February 25, 2017

We Need Illeagal Immigrants To Pick Crops?

Have you noticed these liberal postings about using illegal aliens to harvest crops; saying "How many of you Americans would do this job?" Here is my take on this; There have always been Mexican workers coming up north to harvest crops, they used to be called migrant workers. They were known and vetted, and they returned to Mexico after the harvest season was over.

We should still allow these known migrants to come up north to make some extra money, but they should have to earn citizenship like any other immigrant.

To supplant any worker shortages we might face, we should arrest all of the violent protesters. We should also arrest corrupt bankers, Wall Street agents, and politicians. They should then be sentenced to do these picking of crops jobs, or go to prison.

I say we teach these guys what it is like to have to WORK for a living. After their terms are up, I bet they will have more respect for workers, people, and their property.

Saturday, February 18, 2017

I Am An A-Hole

I am evil. I know I am evil, but I can’t help it. In fact I take a fiendish glee in being evil.

I wasn't always evil; it just came upon me about six years ago. That’s when I moved from the frozen tundra of Rochester, NY, and relocated in Miami, FL.

I remember my last day working at the airport up in Rochester, it was 5 degrees, and colder than a witch’s left bosom. In fact, the last two months I worked there, were the coldest I could remember. I really didn’t want to leave my family, and friends, but, I was forced to travel to new horizons, in order to keep my job of twenty years.

Three days later, from the back of my friend Tom’s boat, which was harbored in the Florida Keys, I discovered my evilness. It was a beautiful evening, about 70 degrees, with a gorgeous sunset off to the west. I was nursing my sixth or seventh cold brew, when I got a call from my step son on my cell phone. He told me that it was a minus 4 degrees, and snowing like a bastard up in Rochester.

That’s when I turned evil. I couldn’t help but to tell him how warm, and beautiful it was in my neck of the woods. Just to hear him tell me to go f#&k off made me feel really good. I realized that I took extreme pleasure, in pissing him off about how nice it was to live in paradise. In fact I took pleasure in pissing off everybody from up north about it.

Sometimes I would just causally mention, how it was 82, and sunny; after they told me they just got 15 inches of snow, other times I would complain that we were going through a cold spell, and that we would hit a low of 55, with only a high temperature of 72, just to hear the responses I would get from them.

There is something about living in paradise that brings out the a-hole in a guy.

If you life up north, and want to bring out your inner a-holeness, I have a guest room, give me a call.

Did I mention that we are going through a cold spell? It is supposed to get down to 60 degrees tonight. I better put on my flannel pj's tonight! Brrrr

Saturday, February 11, 2017

We Hope You Have a Miserable Flight With Us Today

I work for one of the major airlines here in Miami. The good news is I get to fly for free,(provided there is an unused seat available) the bad news is I get treated just like everybody else (crappy).

It seems that the airlines today are trying to get us to forget that you have to pay for checked baggage, overkill security, no snacks, etc. by treating us all like seven year old children. Flight attendant training now resembles Nazi nun training as evidenced by the way these people patrol the aisles, looking for reasons to berate the passengers. Heaven forbid your seat is inclined 1" during take off or landing, because you will be made to feel as if you are the lowest of low.

I had my earphones on, and plugged into the planes' audio system as we taxied for take off. One FA stopped to yell at me, " all personal electric devices have to be turned off until after take-off!" I had every passenger within ear shot of me looking at me as if I were a felon. I then pointed out to the nice lady, that my headphones were plugged into the armrest and not some offending i-pod. Without a word, she just kept going looking for the next low down perpetrator.

 Throughout that whole flight, we had another Nazi nun, er, FA, talking over the planes public address, telling us what was now permissable, and what was not permissible.

I am not a mechanic, but I do know that the shielding for the aircraft's radio system is good enough that every person on board could be operating ten i-pods each, and not effect it. So if that is the case, why the harassment? Could it be that they have nothing better to do?

 Like I mentioned, they no longer hand out pillows and blankets, no longer serve meals or snacks, and no longer assist passenger needs. But heaven forbid you HAVE to go to the restroom when the "fasten seat belt" sign is on. You will have every FA on that aircraft tell you to go back to your seat as you walk down the aisle, even if its two hours before landing.

Welcome to the friendly skies!

Saturday, February 4, 2017

Don't Let the Jones' Get You Down

Jesus said “It is easier for a camel to pass through an eye of a needle, than a rich man to enter the Kingdom of Heaven.” Why is this? Is it because God dislikes rich people? No.

The reason it is so difficult for a rich person to enter into Heaven is because, since they have all of their physical needs met, they are preoccupied with gaining more wealth, or buying the physical pleasures of this world; not with God.

A quick look through the history of the Saints, and Saviors shows that most of them were born into poverty, or gave up their wealth to follow God. It is indeed very difficult to pursue the pleasures of the flesh, and God at the same time.

Before each incarnation every soul makes a decision on what they hope to achieve in their next lifetime spiritually. If a soul knows that he/she is nearing the end of his schooling in this world, he will often choose a harder, or more demanding life in order to pay off karmic debts so that he may move on as a Spiritual Guide, teacher, Guardian Angel, or co-worker with God.

If you are living a life of hard times, where you seem to go from one challenge to the next one; rest assured that you have chosen that life in order to graduate from constant reincarnations. Realize that you are nearing the finish line and are striving to reach it. You are like the horse that can smell water, nothing will keep you from reaching it.

When you see others with their fine homes, cars, and other amenities, don’t be envious of them; just know that YOU have chosen this life in order to gain something much more important…freedom from karma and rebirth. You have chose love over power; you have chose God over material wealth. You are like the marathon runner passing the twenty five mile point, you are tired, and you are dragging; but nothing will keep you from the finish line.

Once you have crossed that line, then you can help others on their long trek to God.

Saturday, January 28, 2017

YouBoob

When I was young, my brothers and I used to watch TV... a lot of TV! My mother would have to kick us out of the house to get us to play. My parents called the TV "the boob tube". I guess their reasoning was, if you watch too much TV, you would grow up to be a boob. Back in the 60's "boob" was a slang term for what is now referred to as a nerd, or better yet, a jerk.

Move the clock ahead forty years and kids are still entranced with the "boob tube". But these kids have taken it one step farther; they are now the boobs on the tube!

YouTube has given everyone a chance to show the world what an jerk they are! And the kids are taking full advantage of it. They love to make themselves look silly! Like the old saying goes, negative attention is better than no attention at all.

I'm not sure I understand it. When I really need to show the world I'm a jerk, I go out and sing karaoke, or I post a blog. At most, though, I am showing myself off to a couple hundred people, not a few million like you can with YouTube.

And appearing is so easy to do. You just need to rig up your cheesy computer camera so it points at you (and not the dirty house and dishes behind you), log on, and create! Video magic for all to see!

Wait a second -- I think I see the light...Yes! I, too, can be a star! My next article will not be appearing on blogspot.com. Instead, there will just be a website for you to click on, and then you will be able to see me actually read my next post to you.

Hope I remember to comb my hair. .

Friday, January 20, 2017

Things That Irk Me

I am normally an up beat positive type of a guy. I do my best to keep a positive attitude even under the most stressful situations, but there are certain things that people do that will never fail to irk me. Some people call these things “pet peeves”, but I prefer to call them “things that irk me” (I just think ‘irk' is a great, under used word). So here it is, Mike’s official list of “Things That Irk Me”.
1) Push handles on pull doors.
2) People who just have to pull out in front of you, when there are no cars behind you, then make a left hand turn 100 ft. down the road.
3) Loud mouths
4) Greedy people
5) Hooray for me, and f#&k you, type of people
6) Drivers waiting to make a left hand turn in front of you that won’t move into the center of the intersection.
7) Power driven policemen who forget that they are being paid to serve and protect.
8) Warm beer
9) Cigarette smokers who complain when I light up a cigar.
10)People who love to tease and, dish out verbal abuse, but get indignant, and offended when you do the same to them.
11)People talking on cell phones when they are paying for their groceries.
12)People sending text messages on cell phones while they are (supposedly) driving.
13)Tailgaters
14)Wet cigars
15)Guys who can’t lift the toilet seat to piss
16)People who steal your lunch at work
17)Nosy, gossiping people
18)A bed that smells like “dog”
19)Slow golfers
20)Shoppers that block the whole aisle with their shopping carts
21)Cars that won’t start
22)Anything that won’t work, when I want it to
23)Flat tires
24)Beautiful women, that know that they are beautiful
25)Spam
26)Telemarketers calling at suppertime
27)Commercials that insult my manhood and, intelligence
28)Dead cell phone batteries
29)Racists
30)Varmints, flies, and cockroaches
31)Neighborhood cats in heat
32)Potholes
33)Not being able to find my car keys at 3:45 AM, because they weren’t hung up.
34)Pull handles on push doors


Wow, I never realized there are so many things that irk me! What was that I was saying before about being positive and up beat? Forget that!

About Me

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This site is more a column than a blog. I write humorous, spiritual, and political articles. Everything I write is designed to make you think; what you think is up to you.