Things That Irk Me

I am normally an up beat positive type of a guy. I do my best to keep a positive attitude even under the most stressful situations, but there are certain things that people do that will never fail to irk me. Some people call these things “pet peeves”, but I prefer to call them “things that irk me” (I just think ‘irk' is a great, under used word). So here it is, Mike’s official list of “Things That Irk Me”.

1) Push handles on pull doors

2) People who just have to pull out in front of you, when there are no cars behind you, then make a left hand turn 100 ft. down the road.

3) Loud mouths

4) Greedy people

5) Hooray for me, and f#&k you, type of people

6) Drivers waiting to make a left hand turn in front of you that won’t move into the center of the intersection.

7) Power driven policemen who forget that they are being paid to serve and protect.

8) Warm beer

9) Cigarette smokers who complain when I light up a cigar.

10)People who love to tease and, dish out verbal abuse, but get indignant, and offended when you do the same to them.

11)People talking on cell phones when they are paying for their groceries.

12)People sending text messages on cell phones while they are (supposedly) driving.

13)Tailgaters

14)Wet cigars

15)Guys who can’t lift the toilet seat to piss

16)People who steal your lunch at work

17)Nosy, gossiping people

18)A bed that smells like “dog”

19)Slow golfers

20)Shoppers that block the whole aisle with their shopping carts

21)Cars that won’t start

22)Anything that won’t work, when I want it to

23)Flat tires

24)Beautiful women, that know that they are beautiful

25)Spam

26)Telemarketers calling at suppertime

27)Commercials that insult my manhood and, intelligence

28)Dead cell phone batteries

29)Racists

30)Varmints, flies, and cockroaches

31)Neighborhood cats in heat

32)Potholes

33)Not being able to find my car keys at 3:45 AM, because they weren’t hung up.

34)Pull handles on push doors

Wow, I never realized there are so many things that irk me! What was that I was saying before about being positive and up beat? Forget that!