Santa Redneck Is Coming To Town

Christmas comes early each year to our normally quiet community here in Homestead, Florida. Santa's come by the droves, not in sleighs, but in RVs, and campers, and pick-up trucks. They come here each year to watch the last NASCAR race of the year; the one that decides the NASCAR champion, The Homestead-Miami Ford 400. These Santa's, don't come with a bag of presents, but with pockets full of cash. It is a welcome influx of cash for the hotels, shops, trailer parks, and bars of Homestead, and Florida City.

My wife, who tends a bar in Florida City, looks forward to this big three day party every year. After bar tending here the last five years, she knows that these folks love to drink, party, and lavish her with piles of dough; and there are few things she likes more than making lots of money.

The average NASCAR fan won't win many Nobel Prizes, or even spelling bees in their lifetime; but they remember her little bar, and they even remember her name, so it is like a big reunion for everyone.

These folks may be a little grubby, and their smiles remind you of a gap toothed jack-o-lantern; but they are usually well behaved, and very generous. Just be sure that you have countless cases of ice cold Coors Light, Budweiser, and Jack Daniels, on hand.

With all the drinking going on, it is a wonder to me how they can even find the race track, let alone keep track of how many left turns their favorite driver Billy Bob Kyle has successfully negotiated but, they do. In fact, they really get into the race.

Many of them rent out head sets so they can listen in on the communication going back and forth from the pit crew chief, and the driver. Crackle, static "hey, that was a real impressive left turn yew made back there, Jimmy Joe Don, now be careful, 'cus yew got another one coming up right quick" Crackle, pop "yeah Benny Earl Ray, the car's running real smooth right now, hold on, gotta another one of them left turns coming up."

Sheer excitement!

I'm not really big on NASCAR racing; just five minutes of watching these guys going around in circles puts me in a trance. But, as long as they keep coming down here every year with pockets full of cash, we'll be glad to welcome them here.

"Hey, Kenny Jeb Kirk, how the hell are yew? Its good to see yew agin! Did yew bring your sister?"

Don't Let The Jones' Get You Down

Jesus said “It is easier for a camel to pass through an eye of a needle, than a rich man to enter the Kingdom of Heaven.” Why is this? Is it because God dislikes rich people? No.

The reason it is so difficult for a rich person to enter into Heaven is because, since they have all of their physical needs met, they are preoccupied with gaining more wealth, or buying the physical pleasures of this world; not with God.

A quick look through the history of the Saints, and Saviors shows that most of them were born into poverty, or gave up their wealth to follow God. It is indeed very difficult to pursue the pleasures of the flesh, and God at the same time.

Before each incarnation every soul makes a decision on what they hope to achieve in their next lifetime spiritually. If a soul knows that he/she is nearing the end of his schooling in this world, he will often choose a harder, or more demanding life in order to pay off karmic debts so that he may move on as a Spiritual Guide, teacher, Guardian Angel, or co-worker with God.

If you are living a life of hard times, where you seem to go from one challenge to the next one; rest assured that you have chosen that life in order to graduate from constant reincarnations. Realize that you are nearing the finish line and are striving to reach it. You are like the horse that can smell water, nothing will keep you from reaching it.

When you see others with their fine homes, cars, and other amenities, don’t be envious of them; just know that YOU have chosen this life in order to gain something much more important…freedom from karma and rebirth. You have chose love over power; you have chose God over material wealth. You are like the marathon runner passing the twenty five mile point, you are tired, and you are dragging; but nothing will keep you from the finish line.

Once you have crossed that line, then you can help others on their long trek to God.

Letter to an Unknown I.R.S. Agent

Today I got home from work and got the mail. In the mail was a flyer from a local store, and an envelope with a clear plastic window with a multicolored check inside. This was a surprise, I knew it was a check from the IRS, but I wasn't expecting any. You see, I sent them a check for $26 about two months ago. I brought it in and showed my wife. She laughed out loud "What, is it for $1.50 like last year?" "I don't know but let's find out." I said as I tore it open. Inside was a check for $718.00!!!

Let's see...718 minus 26, equals $692! No way I could have been that far off! Well, since I have the check in my grubby little hands, it must be true. Evidently I am as handy with numbers as I am around the house.

Think about all of the people spending big money to do their taxes, trying to get the biggest refund, when there are conscientious IRS agents that will do it just for their paycheck. This is amazing! Just as I am about to the throw all politicians, and government employees under the bus because I don't trust any of them anymore; one of them caught my mistake. Not only caught it, but sent me the money. I have to tell you I am impressed.

Last year I never bothered to cash the $1.50 check. You can bet I will cash it this year. Thank you Mister IRS agent! (Wow, now I've done it! It could be a Miss, Mrs. or Ms.) I don't want to get anyone angry; I might need you again next year.