Hot Flashes, Cold Nights

Back in the fall of of 1973 I was a young freshman at the University of Miami. I was given a room at the older dorm, Mahoney Hall. There was no air conditioning in our room, so the September nights were often pillow soaked experiences.

Late in that month, they installed a room air conditioner. My roommate Andy and I thought this would be our salvation. We were wrong. It led to us not rooming together the next year. Why? The reason was I like it cool, and he liked it COLD.

I had a job at the campus bakery that started at 05:00, so I normally would be in bed by 9:30 or 10:00. He had a rich dad, so he came to bed whenever he felt like it. The problem was I would set the air conditioner on low when I went to bed, and Andy would come in later and set it on high. At 4:15 in the morning, I would wake up to a frosty greeting.

Now I grew up in upstate NY, and the reason I went to UM was to avoid frosty mornings. So the fact that I found myself freezing, dancing around on the cold tile floor, trying to dodge snow flakes, quickly lost its appeal to me. So long Andy.

Turn the clock ahead 30 years. Here I am once again living in Miami, (because I got real sick of being cold). Everything was going great, until my wife started going through menopause. She started experiencing "hot flashes". I really don't understand why they call them "flashes" because she is always having one! They really aren't "hot moments" either. Let just call them "hot, four years and running, never ending periods" of her life.

So here I am, with a room air conditioner in my bedroom, cranked to high, every night. I still have to work at 05:00, But since the commute is 26 miles, I now get to dance around on cold tiles, and avoid snow flakes at 3:15. Its even worse after my hot shower when I come out of my bathroom hopping around like a Mexican jumping bean, trying to keep warm as I try to get dressed.

What a funny "America's Funniest Home Videos" segment that would make! (Except that I'm naked)

I'm thinking Andy wasn't so bad after all, at least he never nagged me.

Cold Nights, Hot Flashes

Back in the fall of of 1973 I was a young freshman at the University of Miami. I was given a room at the older dorm, Mahoney Hall. There was no air conditioning in our room, so the September nights were often pillow soaked experiences.

Late in that month, they installed a room air conditioner. My roommate Andy and I thought this would be our salvation. We were wrong. It led to us not rooming together the next year. Why? The reason was I like it cool, and he liked it COLD.

I had a job at the campus bakery that started at 05:00, so I normally would be in bed by 9:30 or 10:00. He had a rich dad, so he came to bed whenever he felt like it. The problem was I would set the air conditioner on low when I went to bed, and Andy would come in later and set it on high. At 4:15 in the morning, I would wake up to a frosty greeting.

Now I grew up in upstate NY, and the reason I went to UM was to avoid frosty mornings. So the fact that I found myself freezing, dancing around on the cold tile floor, trying to dodge snow flakes, quickly lost its appeal to me.

So long Andy.

Turn the clock ahead 40 years. Here I am once again living in Miami, (because I got real sick of being cold). Everything was going great, until my wife started going through menopause. She started experiencing "hot flashes". I really don't understand why they call them "flashes" because she is always having one! They really aren't "hot moments" either. Let just call them "hot, four years and running, never ending periods" of her life.

So here I am, with a room air conditioner in my bedroom, cranked to high, every night. I still have to work at 05:00, But since the commute is 26 miles, I now get to dance around on cold tiles, and avoid snow flakes at 3:15.

Even worse is when I come out of my hot shower, when I have to hop around like a Mexican jumping bean, to try to keep warm as I get dressed. What a funny "America's Funniest Home Videos" segment that would make! (Except that I'm naked)

I'm thinking Andy wasn't so bad after all, at least he never nagged me.

Habla Ingles?

Hi, I am an American, I love being an American. All my life, I have been surrounded by people who spoke American. Of course I mean the Queen's English, but hell, it’s always been American to me. Now, I live and work around Miami, unfortunately, nobody told most of the residents, that this is indeed, America. Almost everybody speaks Spanish! And I mean ALMOST everybody.

There is a small pocket of us "gringos" to try and keep a small semblance of American life.

Our house is the black sheep of our neighborhood. My neighbors are disappointed in just about everything about us, from the color of our house (yellow), the football we cheer for (real football, not soccer), and the old rock and roll I play a little too loud once in a while.

Oh, yeah, did I fail to mention that we speak English?

Actually, my neighbors, are pretty cool, even if we are different, and they do put up with things like my step son's broken down truck (that he swears he's going to put on the road) sitting in my front yard for six months.

Like I said, we're trying to promote the American way.

Well, my wife has had enough of it. Since she can't go up north (easily), she found herself a job tending bar at this little old red neck bar.  It’s very nice, and very white, and everybody does speak English...for now.

 She said to me "Everybody knows that they have to speak English if they want any service. I don't take any orders in Spanish"

 Yeah, Right! Until a Latino buys the place, then she'll be asking every person that walks in the place

"Habla Ingles?"

Hot Flashes, Cold Nights

Back in the fall of of 1973 I was a young freshman at the University of Miami. I was given a room at the older dorm, Mahoney Hall. There was no air conditioning in our room, so the September nights were often pillow soaked experiences.

Late in that month, they installed a room air conditioner. My roommate Andy and I thought this would be our salvation. We were wrong. It led to us not rooming together the next year. Why? The reason was I like it cool, and he liked it COLD.

I had a job at the campus bakery that started at 05:00, so I normally would be in bed by 9:30 or 10:00. He had a rich dad, so he came to bed whenever he felt like it. The problem was I would set the air conditioner on low when I went to bed, and Andy would come in later and set it on high. At 4:15 in the morning, I would wake up to a frosty greeting.

Now I grew up in upstate NY, and the reason I went to UM was to avoid frosty mornings. So the fact that I found myself freezing, dancing around on the cold tile floor, trying to dodge snow flakes, quickly lost its appeal to me.

So long Andy.

Turn the clock ahead 30 years. Here I am once again living in Miami, (because I got real sick of being cold). Everything was going great, until my wife started going through menopause. She started experiencing "hot flashes". I really don't understand why they call them "flashes" because she is always having one! They really aren't "hot moments" either. Let just call them "hot, four years and running, never ending periods" of her life.

So here I am, with a room air conditioner in my bedroom, cranked to high, every night. I still have to work at 05:00, But since the commute is 26 miles, I now get to dance around on cold tiles, and avoid snow flakes at 3:15.

Even worse is when I come out of my hot shower, when I have to hop around like a Mexican jumping bean, to try to keep warm as I get dressed. What a funny "America's Funniest Home Videos" segment that would make! (Except that I'm naked)

I'm thinking Andy wasn't so bad after all, at least he never nagged me.

Hot Flashes

Back in the fall of 1973, I was a young freshman at the University of Miami. I was given a room at the older dorm, Mahoney Hall. There was no air conditioning in our room so the September nights were often pillow-soaked experiences.

Late in that month, they installed a room air conditioner. My roommate, Andy, and I thought this would be our salvation. We were wrong. It led to us not rooming together the next year. Why? The reason was, I like it cool, and he liked it cold.

I had a job at the campus bakery that started at 5:00am, so I normally would be in bed by 9:30 or 10:00pm. He had a rich dad so he went to bed whenever he felt like it. The problem was I would set the air conditioner on low when I went to bed, and Andy would come in later and set it on high. At 4:15 in the morning, I would wake up to a frosty greeting.

Now, I grew up in upstate NY, and the reason I went to UM was to avoid frosty mornings. So the fact that I found myself freezing, dancing around on the cold tile floor, trying to dodge snow flakes, quickly lost its appeal to me. So long, Andy.

Turn the clock ahead 30 years...Here I am, once again living in Miami (because I got real sick of being cold). Everything was going great until my wife started going through menopause. She started experiencing "hot flashes". I really don't understand why they call them "flashes" because she is always having one! They really aren't "hot moments" either. Let's just call them "hot four-years-and-running, never-ending periods" of her life.

So, here I am, with a room air conditioner in my bedroom, cranked to high -- every night. I still have to work at 5:00am, but since the commute is 26 miles, I now get to dance around on cold tiles, and avoid snow flakes, at 3:15am. It's even worse after my hot shower, and I come out of my bathroom hopping around like a Mexican jumping bean as I try to get dressed. What a funny "America's Funniest Home Videos" segment that would make!

Except that I'm naked, and all.

I'm thinking Andy wasn't so bad after all. At least he never nagged me.