Big Butts

I come from German ancestry, almost all of my forebearers are German. I am a third generation American. However because of excessive in-breeding by my Grandparents, and parents, I am almost all German by descent.

Not too bad really, I was always a very good athlete; but there was one stigma I never could shake, the German Big Butt Syndrome (GBBS). It seems that all Germans (and their progeny) have big butts! And I don't mean kinda big, I mean BIG.

Like I said I was always a good athlete, but even in the best of shape, I still had a noticeable butt. "Bubble butt" is what they called me at work 10 years ago, while at the time I was running 35mi. a week to prepare for a marathon!

Well here I am, 10 years older, and only jogging (maybe shuffling is a better term), 12 mi a week.

The bubble has gotten bigger.

I try not to make a habit of bending over in front of my crew at work. The whistles and the snickers, are very embarrassing! "Hey! I can't help my DNA man! Show a brother some compassion will ya?" And to think what a good boss (jeffe, in spanish) I am to them.

Like "Dirty Harry" said,"A man has to know his limits", and right now my limits are being contained in a 36" waist. At least I know if I hap-hazardously bend over in front of someone, no one will get hurt... unless I clip them with my big butt.

Big Butts

I come from German ancestry, almost all of my fore bearers are German. I am a third generation American. However because of excessive in-breeding by my Grandparents, and parents, I am almost all German by descent.

Not too bad really, I was always a very good athlete; but there was one stigma I never could shake, the German Big Butt Syndrome (GBBS). It seems that all Germans (and their progeny) have big butts! And I don't mean kinda big, I mean BIG.

Like I said I was always a good athlete, but even in the best of shape, I still had a noticeable butt. "Bubble butt" is what they called me at work 10 years ago, while at the time I was running 35 mi. a week to prepare for a marathon!

Well here I am, 10 years older, and only jogging (maybe shuffling is a better term), 12 mi a week.

The bubble has gotten bigger.

I try not to make a habit of bending over in front of my crew at work. The whistles and the snickers, are very embarrassing! "Hey! I can't help my DNA man! Show a brother some compassion will ya?" And to think what a good boss (jeffe, in Spanish) I am to them.

Like "Dirty Harry" said,"A man has to know his limits", and right now my limits are being contained in a 36" waist. At least I know if I hap-hazardously bend over in front of someone, no one will get hurt... unless I clip them with my big butt.

I Am Man, Hear Me Whine

Back in the early '70s, Helen Reddy had a hit song called, "I Am Woman", in which she starts out, "I am woman, hear me roar", which I thought was hokey, and all. I still do. But now that I am older, I realize that she was right. Women do all the roaring, while us guys do all the whining.

I should know. I am a man.

Why do men whine? I don't know, but I believe it has something to do with the male DNA. I remember when I was nine, and my mom wouldn't let me go over to Doug's house because his parent's both worked, and we may get into trouble. I'd say, "Come on, Mom, I'll be good!" It didn't work. When I was fourteen, I asked my dad if I could go to Woodstock. After a few seconds of contemplation he said, "No, you're too young." I responded, "Dad, I'm almost fifteen. Please let me go!" Unfortunately, it still didn't work.

Almost forty years later, I still whine when I don't get my way -- and it still doesn't work. You would think that I would adjust, change my game plan, so to speak. But no, I'm not that smart. You see, I am married. You ladies can laugh (which I know you are), but how else can a guy get his needs met?

"Honey, I have no clean shirts for work tomorrow." "Why didn't anyone make coffee this morning?" "C'mon, honey, it's Monday night!" "I have no cookies for bedtime!" "Your Lifetime Movie channel is turned up too loud!"

If whining were an art form, I'd be Picasso. The truth is, I whine because it does work (once in a while).

She'll do almost anything to get me to shut up.

Big Butts

I come from German ancestry, almost all of my forbearers, are German. I am a third generation, American. However because of excessive in-breeding by my Grandparents, I am almost all German by descent. Not too bad really, I was always a very good athlete, but there was one stigma I never could shake, The German big butt syndrome (GBBS). It seems that all Germans (and their progeny) have big butts! And I don't mean kinda big, I mean BIG. Like I said I was always a good athlete, but even in the best of shape, I still had a noticeable butt.

"Bubble butt" is what they called me at work 8 years ago, while at the time I was running 35mi. a week to prepare for a marathon! Well here I am, 8 years older, and only jogging (maybe shuffling is a better term), 12 mi a week.

I try not to make a habit of bending over in front of my crew at work. The whistles and the snickers, are very embarrassing! Hey! I can't help my DNA man! Show a brother some compassion will ya? And to think what a good boss (jeffe, in spanish) I am to them. Like "Dirty Harry" said,"A man has to know his limits", and right now my limits are being contained in a 36" waist. At least I know if I hap-hazardously bend over in front of someone, no one will get hurt, unless I clip them with my big butt.