Big Daddy's Blues

I am a pretty laid-back kind of guy. I try to maintain an even keel on a day-to-day basis. But right now, I am contemplating calling the suicide hot line. I need help! You see, my wife just brought home dog number six yesterday.

Some friend of hers couldn't keep the dog when they decided to move into some swanky new condo...So guess what? I get even less room in my bed to sleep! Now, my wife is a very nice person, and an animal lover. And I am a nice guy, and an animal lover. But man, you gotta learn how to say no.

(Not that I did, when she asked me if it was ok if she brought the dog home.)

I got to admit, I am a soft touch (and soft in the head). The new dog is little more than a puppy, and she is adjusting very well with the other dogs. And she has already taken a fancy to lying in our bed...

Here is a song for you, sung to the tune "Squeeze Box" by The Who:

Mama's got six dogs, she loves them the best,
And when Daddy gets home, he can't get no rest,
'Cause they're all lying in bed,
I'll put a bullet in my head,
Mama's got six dogs, Daddy never sleeps at night.

Now one will lick his ass, another one passes gas,
And they take all the blankets that should cover my ass!
And they do it all night,
Then one will start a fight,
Mama's got six dogs, Daddy never sleeps at night.

They climb up and down, and up and down,
And up and down, and up and down,
And they do it all night, then one will start a fight,
Mama's got six dogs, Daddy never sleeps at night.

De-flea me! Won't you de-flea me!
De-flea me if you please,
I'm tired of scratching fleas,
Mama's got six dogs, Daddy never sleeps at night.