You Have No Events Scheduled For Today

I own one of those “smart phones”. This is good, because when it comes to electronics I am kind of dumb. One of the features of my phone is to send me an e-mail alert on any events that I have planned for that day. I never use it. So everyday I get an e-mail alert telling me “You have no events scheduled for today”. I like to think that I never use my calendar function because I am extremely intelligent, and have the memory of a bull elephant. I like to tell myself things like this because it is part of my 12 step program. The real reason I never use the calendar function is because I am dull.

I really don’t need my “smart phone” to remind me how dull I am each and every day (this is counter productive to my 12 step program). I have decided to make use of this calendar function just so I can be reminded that I do have a life. Here are my daily events:

5:00AM Time to drag your ass out of bed.

5:40AM Leave for work.

6:45AM Remember to punch into work.

3:30PM Remember to punch out and then go home (don’t forget to get dog food, and bread on the way home). If working overtime, disregard this message.

8:30PM Remember to punch out and go home. If not working overtime, disregard this message. (don’t forget the dog food, and bread)

11:00PM Go to bed. You know you will be cranky tomorrow if you don’t get 6 hrs. of sleep. If drinking disregard this notice.

You have events scheduled for today!

12:00AM Go to bed, you need at least 5 hrs. sleep.

1:00AM GO TO BED!!! If already passed out, disregard this notice.

5:00AM Time to drag your ass out of bed.

Wow, I never realized how many things I keep track of on a daily basis! I guess I am intelligent, and have a great memory, and I DO have a life.

Damn! I forgot the dog food and the bread.

Edit

Mr. Nice Guy

I have one motto, “Nice guys finish first (except in football)”. It is not much of a motto, but I do try to live it.

I have taught my son, “It doesn’t cost you anything to be nice to someone”, and it is true. How can it be, that something so easy to do, and so cheap to execute, be so positive?

That is easy to answer if you happen to be the recipient of someone being nice to you. Having someone do you a good deed or a kind gesture can make your whole day if you are on the receiving end. If a total stranger can make your day by being nice, think how many people’s lives you could positively affect just by being nice to them. The thought literally boggles the mind.

If each and every one of us performed just one good deed per day, like the Boy Scouts try to do, it would change the world. Tensions between people would be slashed, blood pressures would drop. People would relax and enjoy life for the blessing it truly is.

Is it really all that easy? Well, yes, and no. The concept of it is easy to grasp, but the practice is not so easy. In order to be nice to someone, you actually have to be able to think outside your personal bubble. You have to come out of your shell, and be aware of the other people around you.

Lately this is getting harder and harder to do. Everyone has a cell phone, i-pod, or P.D.A., etc. occupying their attention. It is very easy to get wrapped up in yourself, and not notice other people.

It really is easy to be a nice guy. In the course of a normal day there are many times when you can be nice to someone if you are on the look out. Just try not to get too wrapped up in yourself, your worries, and problems.

All it takes to make some one’s day is to hold a door, smile and say good morning when you pass someone, offer the use of your cell phone for someone stranded on the side of the road; the possibilities are endless. All it takes is for you to be aware of other people, and to do something nice when the situation allows it.

There is something strange about being nice to people, it spreads

You Have No Events Scheduled For Today

I own one of those "smart phones". This is good, because when it comes to electronics I am kind of dumb. One of the features of my phone is to send me an e-mail alert on any events that I have planned for that day. I never use it. So everyday I get an e-mail alert telling me "You have no events scheduled for today". I like to think that I never use my calendar function because I am extremely intelligent, and have the memory of a bull elephant. I like to tell myself things like this because it is part of my 12 step program. The real reason I never use the calendar function is because I am dull.

I really don't need my "smart phone" to remind me how dull I am each and every day (this is counter productive to my 12 step program). I have decided to make use of this calendar function just so I can be reminded that I do have a life. Here are my daily events:

5:00AM Time to drag your ass out of bed.

5:40AM Leave for work.

6:45AM Remember to punch into work.

3:30PM Remember to punch out and then go home (don't forget to get dog food, and bread on the way home). If working overtime, disregard this message.

8:30PM Remember to punch out and go home. If not working overtime, disregard this message. (don't forget the dog food, and bread)

11:00PM Go to bed. You know you will be cranky tomorrow if you don't get 6 hrs. of sleep. If drinking disregard this notice.

You have events scheduled for today!

12:00AM Go to bed, you need at least 5 hrs. sleep.

1:00AM GO TO BED!!! If already passed out, disregard this notice.

5:00AM Time to drag your ass out of bed.

Wow, I never realized how many things I keep track of on a daily basis! I guess I am intelligent, and have a great memory, and I DO have a life.

Damn! I forgot the dog food and the bread.

You Have No Events Scheduled For Today

I own one of those "smart phones". This is good, because when it comes to electronics I am kind of dumb. One of the features of my phone is to send me an e-mail alert on any events that I have planned for that day.

 I never use it.

So everyday I get an e-mail alert telling me "You have no events scheduled for today". I like to think that I never use my calendar function because I am extremely intelligent, and have the memory of a bull elephant. I like to tell myself things like this because it is part of my 12 step program. The real reason I never use the calendar function is because I am dull.

I really don't need my "smart phone" to remind me how dull I am each and every day (this is counter productive to my 12 step program). I have decided to make use of this calendar function just so I can be reminded that I do have a life. Here are my daily events:

5:00 AM Time to drag your ass out of bed.

5:40 AM Leave for work.

6:45 AM Remember to punch into work.

3:30 PM Remember to punch out and then go home (don't forget to get dog food, and bread on the way home). If working overtime, disregard this message.

8:30 PM Remember to punch out and go home. If not working overtime, disregard this message. (don't forget the dog food, and bread)

11:00 PM Go to bed. You know you will be cranky tomorrow if you don't get 6 hrs. of sleep. If drinking disregard this notice.

You have events scheduled for today!

12:00 AM Go to bed, you need at least 5 hrs. sleep.

1:00 AM GO TO BED!!! If already passed out, disregard this notice.

5:00 AM Time to drag your ass out of bed.

Wow, I never realized how many things I keep track of on a daily basis! I guess I am intelligent, and have a great memory, and I DO have a life.

Damn! I forgot the dog food and the bread.

You Have No Events Scheduled For Today

I own one of those "smart phones". This is good, because when it comes to electronics I am kind of dumb. One of the features of my phone is to send me an e-mail alert on any events that I have planned for that day. I never use it. So everyday I get an e-mail alert telling me "You have no events scheduled for today". I like to think that I never use my calendar function because I am extremely intelligent, and have the memory of a bull elephant. I like to tell myself things like this because it is part of my 12 step program. The real reason I never use the calendar function is because I am dull.

I really don't need my "smart phone" to remind me how dull I am each and every day (this is counter productive to my 12 step program). I have decided to make use of this calendar function just so I can be reminded that I do have a life. Here are my daily events:

5:00AM Time to drag your ass out of bed.
5:40AM Leave for work.
6:45AM Remember to punch into work.
3:30PM Remember to punch out and then go home (don't forget to get dog food, and bread on the way home). If working overtime, disregard this message.
8:30PM Remember to punch out and go home. If not working overtime, disregard this message. (don't forget the dog food, and bread)
11:00PM Go to bed. You know you will be cranky tomorrow if you don't get 6 hrs. of sleep. If drinking disregard this notice.

You have events scheduled for today!

12:00AM Go to bed, you need at least 5 hrs. sleep.
1:00AM GO TO BED!!! If already passed out, disregard this notice.
5:00AM Time to drag your ass out of bed.

Wow, I never realized how many things I keep track of on a daily basis! I guess I am intelligent, and have a great memory, and I DO have a life.

Damn! I forgot the dog food and the bread!

You Have No Events Scheduled For Today

I own one of those "smart phones".  This is good, because when it comes to electronics I am kind of dumb.  One of the features of my phone is to send me an e-mail alert on any events that I have planned for that day.  I never use it.  So everyday I get an e-mail alert telling me "You have no events scheduled for today".  I like to think that I never use my calendar function because I am extremely intelligent, and have the memory of a bull elephant.  I like to tell myself things like this because it is part of my 12 step program.  The real reason I never use the calendar function is because I am dull. 

I really don't need my "smart phone" to remind me how dull I am each and every day (this is counter productive to my 12 step program).  I have decided to make use of this calendar function just so I can be reminded that I do have a life.  Here are my daily events:


5:00AM     Time to drag your ass out of bed.
5:40AM     Leave for work.
6:45AM     Remember to punch into work.
3:30PM     Remember to punch out and then go home (don't forget to get dog food, and bread on the way home).  If working overtime, disregard this message.
8:30PM     Remember to punch out and go home.  If not working overtime, disregard this message.  (don't forget the dog food, and bread)
11:00PM   Go to bed.  You know you will be cranky tomorrow if you don't get 6 hrs.of sleep.  If drinking disregard this notice.


You have events scheduled for today!


12:00AM    Go to bed, you need at least 5 hrs.sleep.  
1:00AM      GO TO BED!!!  If already passed out, disregard this notice.
5:00AM      Time to drag your ass out of bed.


Wow, I never realized how many things I keep track of on a daily basis!  I guess I am intelligent, and have a great memory, and I DO have a life. 

Damn! I forgot the dog food and the bread.



Please read my friend The Queen of WTF, she is very funny, as is all of the royal family.