You Have No Events Scheduled For Today

I own one of those “smart phones”. This is good, because when it comes to electronics I am kind of dumb. One of the features of my phone is to send me an e-mail alert on any events that I have planned for that day. I never use it. So everyday I get an e-mail alert telling me “You have no events scheduled for today”. I like to think that I never use my calendar function because I am extremely intelligent, and have the memory of a bull elephant. I like to tell myself things like this because it is part of my 12 step program. The real reason I never use the calendar function is because I am dull.

I really don’t need my “smart phone” to remind me how dull I am each and every day (this is counter productive to my 12 step program). I have decided to make use of this calendar function just so I can be reminded that I do have a life. Here are my daily events:

5:00AM Time to drag your ass out of bed.

5:40AM Leave for work.

6:45AM Remember to punch into work.

3:30PM Remember to punch out and then go home (don’t forget to get dog food, and bread on the way home). If working overtime, disregard this message.

8:30PM Remember to punch out and go home. If not working overtime, disregard this message. (don’t forget the dog food, and bread)

11:00PM Go to bed. You know you will be cranky tomorrow if you don’t get 6 hrs. of sleep. If drinking disregard this notice.

You have events scheduled for today!

12:00AM Go to bed, you need at least 5 hrs. sleep.

1:00AM GO TO BED!!! If already passed out, disregard this notice.

5:00AM Time to drag your ass out of bed.

Wow, I never realized how many things I keep track of on a daily basis! I guess I am intelligent, and have a great memory, and I DO have a life.

Damn! I forgot the dog food and the bread.

Edit

The Dance Of Life

Life is nothing more than one large Arthur Murray Dance School. From the moment we take our first steps as toddlers, we go through life learning new and different steps. The music we dance to is the rhythm of life. With every new situation, relationship, and employer, we have to learn new steps to be successful.

As kindergartners and throughout elementary school we learn the basic steps of how to get along with others, and how to play well with others. As we enter high school we get into more complicated relationships; boyfriends, girlfriends, dating, the steps we learn change and become more complex. We learn that in a relationship sometimes you call the tune, and sometimes the other person will call the tune you both dance to.

As young adults we learn that our employers, and bosses will be calling the tune, and teach us the steps we have to dance to. As we grow and move up the corporate ladder, we learn that we have to follow the tune of our bosses, while calling the tune for our underlings. The dance becomes more complex.

In marriage we often find that the steps that were once so exciting have become routine and boring. To keep a marriage alive and vibrant you have to incorporate new steps from time to time to stay interested, or in time we will find new partners to dance with.

There is an old saying that people hate change, that is true, but they really hate dull and routine even more. Life is all about growth and change, and we reflect that in our dance.

Today life is changing at a pace never seen before by man. Everyday it seems that we have to learn new steps in order to survive. Life is certainly more difficult, but it is definitely not boring.

As for me, I’m dancing as fast as I can.