An Open Letter to Those Nice Folks at P.E.T.A.

(Ed. note) This is a work of humor, not to be taken literally (especially any mention of cannibalism).

The holidays are here and once again it is time to engage in that old holiday tradition; listening to P.E.T.A. complain about the unethical treatment of turkeys, cows, chickens, pigs, and other edible animals.

I for one, am all for the ethical treatment of animals; however I do like to eat them also (especially with dressing and turkey gravy). This may seem like an ethical dilemma, but trust me it is not. I can rectify this seeming enigma in several ways.

First of all P.E.T.A. there is such a thing as a FOOD CHAIN. If you can’t find it in your PETA handbook, I am sure you can ask your seventh grade daughter to show it to you in her biology book. Take a good look; are turkeys, cows, and chickens, and pigs anywhere near the top? Of course not! Turkeys, cows, and chickens are just above plants, and dirt in the food chain pecking order. This means that they are on this planet to be eaten. Think about it; if we people were not eating them, some other animal would be. Who would you rather see stave to death; me, or some fox, coyote, or wolf? Knowing you PETA guys I don’t really want to know your response.

Secondly, I read a really good novel recently that contained a really good step by step description of how turkeys are slaughtered. First they are hung upside down which disorientates them, then they shock them to daze them, then they slit their throats. What ever happens next I really don’t think the turkeys care about. But the fact is the turkeys never know what hit them so it is a benevolent way to kill them. I personally believe the turkeys would rather die like this instead of being grabbed by the throat and shaken to asphyxiation by some fox. But really, does it matter? Turkeys have a brain roughly the size of an almond; they barely know seed from gravel. I personally feel you could kill them anyway you want, and they wouldn't know the difference.

Third, if all of us people who enjoyed eating animals suddenly stopped, how would YOU eat? Face it there is only a limited supply of tofu and wheat in this world. Maybe if we got hungry enough we could eat you! We know you tofu lovers are low in fat and probably very tasty. I think you guys should shut up and leave well enough alone while you are ahead and still have plenty of tofu.

Oh, by the way PETA if it will make you feel any better, I want you to know that my Thanksgiving turkey came back to haunt me over my inhumane treatment of him.

I never should have had that turkey salad sandwich right before bed!

No Time For Alligators

I live in South Florida, no let me rephrase that, I live in south, south Florida. I live about 10 miles from the southern tip of Florida. In many ways this is paradise; warm sunny weather year round, lots of flora, and lots and fauna.

We also have lots of alligators; and I do mean lots, and they are protected by federal law. If you get caught killing one, the state will see to it that you have a lover, er, roommate named Bubba for the next few years.

For those of you not familiar with Florida, this state is riddled with hundreds, if not thousands of canals, and inter-coastal waterways; each of which is riddled with thousands of alligators.

Alligators, however are not normally a problem; unless you live near, or decide to swim in one of these waterways. Then all bets are off!

My step-son came down to visit us a couple of years ago. On the way back from the airport, we went over a canal bridge. It was a hot sunny day, so he asked me if he could take a dip in the canal. "That depends" I replied. "Depends on what?" he asked. "Well, it depends on if you want to be at the top of the food chain, or somewhere in between."

Last year, a young lady became despondent after breaking up with her boyfriend. She decided to get drunk, and then go dangle her feet in the canal near her home. They found her the next day; or should I say they found pieces of her the next day.

That's one hell of a way to get over a breakup. She probably should have gone on a food, or shopping binge.

Early this year, an elderly lady went to answer a knock at the door of her condominium. Well it wasn't really a knock as much as it was a thump, thump, thump at her door. She answered the door to find a 15ft. alligator, asking her if her dog could come out to play.

Seems the alligator had been targeting little Fifi for a couple of weeks, hoping to make her a snack. When the dog wouldn't cooperate, and come near the canal; the alligator decided to take matters into his own claws. The funny thing is, the lady lived on the second floor! The alligator climbed two sets of stairs to meet this dog!

They are not as dumb as they look.

So, if you are planning to visit Florida anytime soon, stick to your hotel pool, or the public beaches to go swimming. Lest you find out what its like to be on the wrong end of the food chain.

An Open Letter to Those Nice Folks at P.E.T.A.

(Ed. note) This is a work of humor, not to be taken literally (especially any mention of cannibalism).

The holidays are here and once again it is time to engage in that old holiday tradition; listening to P.E.T.A. complain about the unethical treatment of turkeys, cows, chickens, pigs, and other edible animals.

I for one, am all for the ethical treatment of animals; however I do like to eat them also (especially with dressing and turkey gravy). This may seem like an ethical dilemma, but trust me it is not. I can rectify this seeming enigma in several ways.

First of all PETA there is such a thing as a FOOD CHAIN. If you can’t find it in your PETA handbook, I am sure you can ask your seventh grade daughter to show it to you in her biology book. Take a good look; are turkeys, cows, and chickens, and pigs anywhere near the top? Of course not! Turkeys, cows, and chickens are just above plants, and dirt in the food chain pecking order. This means that they are on this planet to be eaten. Think about it; if we people were not eating them, some other animal would be. Who would you rather see stave to death; me, or some fox, coyote, or wolf? Knowing you PETA guys I don’t really want to know your response.

Secondly, I read a really good novel recently that contained a really good step by step description of how turkeys are slaughtered. First they are hung upside down which disorientates them, then they shock them to daze them, then they slit their throats. What ever happens next I really don’t think the turkeys care about. But the fact is the turkeys never know what hit them so it is a benevolent way to kill them. I personally believe the turkeys would rather die like this instead of being grabbed by the throat and shaken to asphyxiation by some fox. But really, does it matter? Turkeys have a brain roughly the size of an almond; they barely know seed from gravel. I personally feel you could kill them anyway you want, and they wouldn't know the difference.

Third, if all of us people who enjoyed eating animals suddenly stopped, how would YOU eat? Face it there is only a limited supply of tofu and wheat in this world. Maybe if we got hungry enough we could eat you! We know you tofu lovers are low in fat and probably very tasty. I think you guys should shut up and leave well enough alone while you are ahead and still have plenty of tofu.

Oh, by the way PETA if it will make you feel any better, I want you to know that my Thanksgiving turkey came back to haunt me over my inhumane treatment of him.

I never should have had that turkey salad sandwich right before bed!

An Open Letter To Those Nice Folks At P.E.T.A.

(Ed. note) This is a work of humor, not to be taken literally (especially any mention of cannibalism).

The holidays are here and once again it is time to engage in that old holiday tradition; listening to P.E.T.A. complain about the unethical treatment of turkeys, cows, chickens, pigs, and other edible animals.

I for one, am all for the ethical treatment of animals; however I do like to eat them also (especially with dressing and turkey gravy). This may seem like an ethical dilemma, but trust me it is not. I can rectify this seeming enigma in several ways.

First of all PETA there is such a thing as a FOOD CHAIN. If you can’t find it in your PETA handbook, I am sure you can ask your seventh grade daughter to show it to you in her biology book. Take a good look; are turkeys, cows, and chickens, and pigs anywhere near the top? Of course not! Turkeys, cows, and chickens are just above plants, and dirt in the food chain pecking order. This means that they are on this planet to be eaten. Think about it; if we people were not eating them, some other animal would be. Who would you rather see stave to death; me, or some fox, coyote, or wolf? Knowing you PETA guys I don’t really want to know your response.

Secondly, I read a really good novel recently that contained a really good step by step description of how turkeys are slaughtered. First they are hung upside down which disorientates them, then they shock them to daze them, then they slit their throats. What ever happens next I really don’t think the turkeys care about. But the fact is the turkeys never know what hit them so it is a benevolent way to kill them. I personally believe the turkeys would rather die like this instead of being grabbed by the throat and shaken to asphyxiation by some fox. But really, does it matter? Turkeys have a brain roughly the size of an almond; they barely know seed from gravel. I personally feel you could kill them anyway you want, and they wouldn't know the difference.

Third, if all of us people who enjoyed eating animals suddenly stopped, how would YOU eat? Face it there is only a limited supply of tofu and wheat in this world. Maybe if we got hungry enough we could eat you! We know you tofu lovers are low in fat and probably very tasty. I think you guys should shut up and leave well enough alone while you are ahead and still have plenty of tofu.

Oh, by the way PETA if it will make you feel any better, I want you to know that my Thanksgiving turkey came back to haunt me over my inhumane treatment of him.

I never should have had that turkey salad sandwich right before bed!

See You Later Alligator

I live in South Florida, no let me rephrase that, I live in south, south Florida. I live about 10 miles from the southern tip of Florida. In many ways this is paradise; warm sunny weather year round, lots of flora, and lots and fauna.

We also have lots of alligators; and I do mean lots, and they are protected by federal law. If you get caught killing one, the state will see to it that you have a lover, er, roommate named Bubba for the next few years.

For those of you not familiar with Florida, this state is riddled with hundreds, if not thousands of canals, and inter-coastal waterways; each of which is riddled with thousands of alligators.
Alligators, however are not normally a problem; unless you live near, or decide to swim in one of these waterways. Then all bets are off!

My step-son came down to visit us a couple of years ago. On the way back from the airport, we went over a canal bridge. It was a hot sunny day, so he asked me if he could take a dip in the canal. "That depends" I replied. "Depends on what?" he asked. "Well, it depends on if you want to be at the top of the food chain, or somewhere in between."

Last year, a young lady became despondent after breaking up with her boyfriend. She decided to get drunk, and then go dangle her feet in the canal near her home. They found her the next day; or should I say they found pieces of her the next day.

That's one hell of a way to get over a breakup. She probably should have gone on a food, or shopping binge.

Early this year, an elderly lady went to answer a knock at the door of her condominium. Well it wasn't really a knock as much as it was a thump, thump, thump at her door. She answered the door to find a 15ft. alligator, asking her if her dog could come out to play.

Seems the alligator had been targeting little Fifi for a couple of weeks, hoping to make her a snack. When the dog wouldn't cooperate, and come near the canal; the alligator decided to take matters into his own claws. The funny thing is, the lady lived on the second floor! The alligator climbed two sets of stairs to meet this dog!

They are not as dumb as they look.

So, if you are planning to visit Florida anytime soon, stick to your hotel pool, or the public beaches to go swimming. Lest you find out what its like to be on the wrong end of the food chain.

An Open Letter To Those Nice Folks At P.E.T.A.

(Ed. note) This is a work of humor, not to be taken literally (especially any mention of cannibalism).


The holidays are here and once again it is time to engage in that old holiday tradition; listening to P.E.T.A. complain about the unethical treatment of turkeys, cows, chickens, pigs, and other edible animals.

I for one, am all for the ethical treatment of animals; however I do like to eat them also (especially with dressing and turkey gravy). This may seem like an ethical dilemma, but trust me it is not. I can rectify this seeming enigma in several ways.

First of all PETA there is such a thing as a FOOD CHAIN. If you can’t find it in your PETA handbook, I am sure you can ask your seventh grade daughter to show it to you in her biology book. Take a good look; are turkeys, cows, and chickens, and pigs anywhere near the top? Of course not! Turkeys, cows, and chickens are just above plants, and dirt in the food chain pecking order. This means that they are on this planet to be eaten. Think about it; if we people were not eating them, some other animal would be. Who would you rather see stave to death; me, or some fox, coyote, or wolf? Knowing you PETA guys I don’t really want to know your response.

Secondly, I read a really good novel recently that contained a really good step by step description of how turkeys are slaughtered. First they are hung upside down which disorientates them, then they shock them to daze them, then they slit their throats. What ever happens next I really don’t think the turkeys care about. But the fact is the turkeys never know what hit them so it is a benevolent way to kill them. I personally believe the turkeys would rather die like this instead of being grabbed by the throat and shaken to asphyxiation by some fox. But really, does it matter? Turkeys have a brain roughly the size of an almond; they barely know seed from gravel. I personally feel you could kill them anyway you want, and they wouldn't know the difference.

Third, if all of us people who enjoyed eating animals suddenly stopped, how would YOU eat? Face it there is only a limited supply of tofu and wheat in this world. Maybe if we got hungry enough we could eat you! We know you tofu lovers are low in fat and probably very tasty. I think you guys should shut up and leave well enough alone while you are ahead and still have plenty of tofu.

Oh, by the way PETA if it will make you feel any better, I want you to know that my Thanksgiving turkey came back to haunt me over my inhumane treatment of him.

I never should have had that turkey salad sandwich right before bed!

An Open Letter To Those Nice Folks At P.E.T.A.

                        

(Ed. note) This is a work of humor, not to be taken literally (especially any mention of cannibalism).

The holidays are here and once again it is time to engage in that old holiday tradition; listening to P.E.T.A. complain about the unethical treatment of turkeys, cows, chickens, pigs, and other edible animals.

I for one, am all for the ethical treatment of animals; however I do like to eat them also (especially with dressing and turkey gravy). This may seem like an ethical dilemma, but trust me it is not. I can rectify this seeming enigma in several ways.

First of all PETA there is such a thing as a FOOD CHAIN. If you can’t find it in your PETA handbook, I am sure you can ask your seventh grade daughter to show it to you in her biology book. Take a good look; are turkeys, cows, and chickens, and pigs anywhere near the top? Of course not! Turkeys, cows, and chickens are just above plants, and dirt in the food chain pecking order. This means that they are on this planet to be eaten. Think about it; if we people were not eating them, some other animal would be. Who would you rather see stave to death; me, or some fox, coyote, or wolf? Knowing you PETA guys I don’t really want to know your response.

Secondly, I read a really good novel recently that contained a really good step by step description of how turkeys are slaughtered. First they are hung upside down which disorientates them, then they shock them to daze them, then they slit their throats. What ever happens next I really don’t think the turkeys care about. But the fact is the turkeys never know what hit them so it is a benevolent way to kill them. I personally believe the turkeys would rather die like this instead of being grabbed by the throat and shaken to asphyxiation by some fox. But really, does it matter? Turkeys have a brain roughly the size of an almond; they barely know seed from gravel. I personally feel you could kill them anyway you want, and they wouldn't know the difference.

Third, if all of us people who enjoyed eating animals suddenly stopped, how would YOU eat? Face it there is only a limited supply of tofu and wheat in this world. Maybe if we got hungry enough we could eat you! We know you tofu lovers are low in fat and probably very tasty. I think you guys should shut up and leave well enough alone while you are ahead and still have plenty of tofu.

Oh, by the way PETA if it will make you feel any better, I want you to know that my Thanksgiving turkey came back to haunt me over my inhumane treatment of him.

I never should have had that turkey salad sandwich right before bed!

An Open Letter To Those Nice Folks At P.E.T.A.

(Ed. note) This is a work of humor, not to be taken literally (especially any mention of cannibalism).

The holidays are here and once again it is time to engage in that old holiday tradition; listening to P.E.T.A. complain about the unethical treatment of turkeys, cows, chickens, pigs, and other edible animals.

I for one, am all for the ethical treatment of animals; however I do like to eat them also (especially with dressing and turkey gravy). This may seem like an ethical dilemma, but trust me it is not. I can rectify this seeming enigma in several ways.

First of all PETA there is such a thing as a FOOD CHAIN. If you can’t find it in your PETA handbook, I am sure you can ask your seventh grade daughter to show it to you in her biology book. Take a good look; are turkeys, cows, and chickens, and pigs anywhere near the top? Of course not! Turkeys, cows, and chickens are just above plants, and dirt in the food chain pecking order. This means that they are on this planet to be eaten. Think about it; if we people were not eating them, some other animal would be. Who would you rather see stave to death; me, or some fox, coyote, or wolf? Knowing you PETA guys I don’t really want to know your response.

Secondly, I read a really good novel recently that contained a really good step by step description of how turkeys are slaughtered. First they are hung upside down which disorientates them, then they shock them to daze them, then they slit their throats. What ever happens next I really don’t think the turkeys care about. But the fact is the turkeys never know what hit them so it is a benevolent way to kill them. I personally believe the turkeys would rather die like this instead of being grabbed by the throat and shaken to asphyxiation by some fox. But really, does it matter? Turkeys have a brain roughly the size of an almond; they barely know seed from gravel. I personally feel you could kill them anyway you want, and they wouldn't know the difference.

Third, if all of us people who enjoyed eating animals suddenly stopped, how would YOU eat? Face it there is only a limited supply of tofu and wheat in this world. Maybe if we got hungry enough we could eat you! We know you tofu lovers are low in fat and probably very tasty. I think you guys should shut up and leave well enough alone while you are ahead and still have plenty of tofu.

Oh, by the way PETA if it will make you feel any better, I want you to know that my Thanksgiving turkey came back to haunt me over my inhumane treatment of him.

I never should have had that turkey salad sandwich right before bed!

An Open Letter To Those Nice Folks At P.E.T.A.

(Ed. note) This is a work of humor, not to be taken literally (especially any mention of cannibalism).

The holidays are here and once again it is time to engage in that old holiday tradition; listening to P.E.T.A. complain about the unethical treatment of turkeys, cows, chickens, pigs, and other edible animals.

I for one, am all for the ethical treatment of animals; however I do like to eat them also (especially with dressing and turkey gravy). This may seem like an ethical dilemma, but trust me it is not. I can rectify this seeming enigma in several ways.

First of all PETA there is such a thing as a FOOD CHAIN. If you can’t find it in your PETA handbook, I am sure you can ask your seventh grade daughter to show it to you in her biology book. Take a good look; are turkeys, cows, and chickens, and pigs anywhere near the top? Of course not! Turkeys, cows, and chickens are just above plants, and dirt in the food chain pecking order. This means that they are on this planet to be eaten. Think about it; if we people were not eating them, some other animal would be. Who would you rather see stave to death; me, or some fox, coyote, or wolf? Knowing you PETA guys I don’t really want to know your response.

Secondly, I read a really good novel recently that contained a really good step by step description of how turkeys are slaughtered. First they are hung upside down which disorientates them, then they shock them to daze them, then they slit their throats. What ever happens next I really don’t think the turkeys care about. But the fact is the turkeys never know what hit them so it is a benevolent way to kill them. I personally believe the turkeys would rather die like this instead of being grabbed by the throat and shaken to asphyxiation by some fox. But really, does it matter? Turkeys have a brain roughly the size of an almond; they barely know seed from gravel. I personally feel you could kill them anyway you want, and they wouldn't know the difference.

Third, if all of us people who enjoyed eating animals suddenly stopped, how would YOU eat? Face it there is only a limited supply of tofu and wheat in this world. Maybe if we got hungry enough we could eat you! We know you tofu lovers are low in fat and probably very tasty. I think you guys should shut up and leave well enough alone while you are ahead and still have plenty of tofu.

Oh, by the way PETA if it will make you feel any better, I want you to know that my Thanksgiving turkey came back to haunt me over my inhumane treatment of him.

I never should have had that turkey salad sandwich right before bed!

See You Later Alligator

I live in south Florida, no let me rephrase that, I live in south, south Florida. I live about 10 miles from the southern tip of Florida. In many ways this is paradise; warm sunny weather year round, lots of flora, and lots and fauna.

We also have lots of alligators; and I do mean lots. They are protected by federal law. If you get caught killing one, the state will see to it that you have a lover, er, roommate named Bubba for the next few years.

For those of you not familiar with Florida, this state is riddled with hundreds, if not thousands of canals, and inter-coastal waterways. Each of which is riddled with thousands of alligators.

Alligators, however are not normally a problem; unless you live near, or decide to swim in one of these waterways. Then all bets are off!

My step-son came down to visit us a couple of years ago. On the way back from the airport, we went over a canal bridge. It was a hot sunny day, so he asked me if he could take a dip in the canal. "That depends" I replied. "Depends on what?" he asked. "Well, it depends on if you want to be at the top of the food chain, or somewhere in between."

Last year, a young lady became despondent after breaking up with her boyfriend. She decided to get drunk, and then go dangle her feet in the canal near her home. They found her the next day; or should I say they found pieces of her the next day.

That's one hell of a way to get over a breakup. She probably should have gone on a food, or shopping binge.

Early this year, an elderly lady went to answer a knock at the door of her condominium. Well it wasn't really a knock as much as it was a thump, thump, thump at her door. She answered the door to find a 15ft. alligator, asking her if her dog could come out to play.

Seems the alligator had been targeting little fifi for a couple of weeks, hoping to make her a snack. When the dog wouldn't cooperate, and come near the canal; the alligator decided to take matters into his own claws.

The funny thing is, the lady lived on the second floor! The alligator climbed two sets of stairs to meet this dog!

They are not as dumb as they look.

So, if you are planning to visit Florida anytime soon, stick to your hotel pool, or the public beaches to go swimming. Lest you find out what its like to be on the wrong end of the food chain.

A Letter To Those Nice Folks At P.E.T.A.

The holidays are here and once again it is time to engage in that old holiday tradition; listening to P.E.T.A. complain about the unethical treatment of turkeys, cows, chickens, pigs, and other edible animals.

I for one, am all for the ethical treatment of animals; however I do like to eat them also (especially with dressing and turkey gravy). This may seem like an ethical dilemma, but trust me it is not. I can rectify this seeming enigma in several ways.

First of all PETA there is such a thing as a FOOD CHAIN. If you can’t find it in your PETA handbook, I am sure you can ask your seventh grade daughter to show it to you in her biology book. Take a good look; are turkeys, cows, and chickens, and pigs anywhere near the top? Of course not! Turkeys, cows, and chickens are just above plants, and dirt in the food chain pecking order. This means that they are on this planet to be eaten. Think about it; if we people were not eating them, some other animal would be. Who would you rather see stave to death; me, or some fox, coyote, or wolf? Knowing you PETA guys I don’t really want to know your response.

Secondly, I read a really good novel recently that contained a really good step by step description of how turkeys are slaughtered. First they are hung upside down which disorientates them, then they shock them to daze them, then they slit their throats. What ever happens next I really don’t think the turkeys care about. But the fact is the turkeys never know what hit them so it is a benevolent way to kill them. I personally believe the turkeys would rather die like this instead of being grabbed by the throat and shaken to asphyxiation by some fox. But really, does it matter? Turkeys have a brain roughly the size of an almond; they barely know seed from gravel. I personally feel you could kill them anyway you want, and they wouldn't know the difference.

Third, if all of us people who enjoyed eating animals suddenly stopped, how would YOU eat? Face it there is only a limited supply of tofu and wheat in this world. Maybe if we got hungry enough we could eat you! We know you tofu lovers are low in fat and probably very tasty. I think you guys should shut up and leave well enough alone while you are ahead and still have plenty of tofu.

Oh, by the way PETA if it will make you feel any better, I want you to know that my Thanksgiving turkey came back to haunt me over my inhumane treatment of him.

I never should have had that turkey salad sandwich right before bed!

I Don't Want No Alligator

I live in south Florida, no let me rephrase that, I live in south, south Florida. I live about 10 miles from the southern tip of Florida. In many ways this is paradise; warm sunny weather year round, lots of flora, and lots and fauna. We also have lots of alligators; and I do mean lots. They are protected by federal law. If you get caught killing one, the state will see to it that you have a lover, er, roommate named Bubba for the next few years.

For those of you not familiar with Florida, this state is riddled with hundreds, if not thousands of canals, and inter-coastal waterways. Each of which is riddled with thousands of alligators. Alligators, however are not normally a problem; unless you live near, or decide to swim in one of these waterways. Then all bets are off!

My step-son came down to visit us a couple of years ago. On the way back from the airport, we went over a canal bridge. It was a hot sunny day, so he asked me if he could take a dip in the canal. "That depends" I replied. "Depends on what?" he asked. "Well, it depends on if you want to be at the top of the food chain, or somewhere in between."

Last year, a young lady became despondent after breaking up with her boyfriend. She decided to get drunk, and then go dangle her feet in the canal near her home. They found her the next day; or should I say they found pieces of her the next day. That's one hell of a way to get over a breakup. She probably should have gone on a food, or shopping binge.

Early this year, an elderly lady went to answer a knock at the door of her condominium. Well it wasn't really a knock as much as it was a thump, thump, thump at her door. She answered the door to find a 15ft. alligator, asking her if her dog could come out to play. Seems the alligator had been targeting little fifi for a couple of weeks, hoping to make her a snack. When the dog wouldn't cooperate, and come near the canal; the alligator decided to take matters into his own claws. The funny thing is, the lady lived on the second floor! The alligator climbed two sets of stairs to meet this dog! They are not as dumb as they look.

So, if you are planning to visit Florida anytime soon, stick to your hotel pool, or the public beaches to go swimming. Lest you find out what its like to be on the wrong end of the food chain.

See You Later Alligator

I live in south Florida, no let me rephrase that, I live in south, south Florida. I live about 10 miles from the southern tip of Florida. In many ways this is paradise; warm sunny weather year round, lots of flora, and lots and fauna. We also have lots of alligators; and I do mean lots. They are protected by federal law. If you get caught killing one, the state will see to it that you have a lover, er roommate named Bubba for the next few years.

For those of you not familiar with Florida, this state is riddled with hundreds, if not thousands of canals, and inter-coastal waterways. Each of which is riddled with thousands of alligators. Alligators, however are not normally a problem; unless you live near, or decide to swim in one of these waterways. Then all bets are off!

My step-son came down to visit us a couple of years ago. On the way back from the airport, we went over a canal bridge. It was a hot sunny day, so he asked me if he could take a dip in the canal. "That depends" I replied. "Depends on what?" he asked. "Well, it depends on if you want to be at the top of the food chain, or somewhere in between."

Last year, a young lady became despondent after breaking up with her boyfriend. She decided to get drunk, and then go dangle her feet in the canal near her home. They found her the next day; or should I say they found pieces of her the next day. That's one hell of a way to get over a breakup. She probably should have gone on a food, or shopping binge.

>

Early this year, an elderly lady went to answer a knock at the door of her condominium. Well it wasn't really a knock as much as it was a thump, thump, thump at her door. She answered the door to find a 15ft. alligator, asking her if her dog could come out to play. Seems the alligator had been targeting little fifi for a couple of weeks, hoping to make her a snack. When the dog wouldn't cooperate, and come near the canal; the alligator decided to take matters into his own claws. The funny thing is, the lady lived on the second floor! The alligator climbed two sets of stairs to meet this dog! They are not as dumb as they look.

So, if you are planning to visit Florida anytime soon, stick to your hotel pool, or the public beaches to go swimming. Lest you find out what its like to be on the wrong end of the food chain.

See You Later Alligator

I live in south Florida, no let me rephrase that, I live in south, south Florida. I live about 10 miles from the southern tip of Florida. In many ways this is paradise; warm sunny weather year round, lots of flora, and lots and fauna. We also have lots of alligators; and I do mean lots. They are protected by federal law. If you get caught killing one, the state will see to it that you have a lover, er roommate named Bubba for the next few years.

For those of you not familiar with Florida, this state is riddled with hundreds, if not thousands of canals, and inter-coastal waterways. Each of which is riddled with thousands of alligators. Alligators, however are not normally a problem; unless you live near, or decide to swim in one of these waterways. Then all bets are off!

My step-son came down to visit us a couple of years ago. On the way back from the airport, we went over a canal bridge. It was a hot sunny day, so he asked me if he could take a dip in the canal. "That depends" I replied. "Depends on what?" he asked. "Well, it depends on if you want to be at the top of the food chain, or somewhere in between."

Last year, a young lady became despondent after breaking up with her boyfriend. She decided to get drunk, and then go dangle her feet in the canal near her home. They found her the next day; or should I say they found pieces of her the next day. That's one hell of a way to get over a breakup. She probably should have gone on a food, or shopping binge.

Early this year, an elderly lady went to answer a knock at the door of her condominium. Well it wasn't really a knock as much as it was a thump, thump, thump at her door. She answered the door to find a 15ft. alligator, asking her if her dog could come out to play. Seems the alligator had been targeting little fifi for a couple of weeks, hoping to make her a snack. When the dog wouldn't cooperate, and come near the canal; the alligator decided to take matters into his own claws. The funny thing is, the lady lived on the second floor! The alligator climbed two sets of stairs to meet this dog! They are not as dumb as they look.

So, if you are planning to visit Florida anytime soon, stick to your hotel pool, or the public beaches to go swimming. Lest you find out what its like to be on the wrong end of the food chain.