Does Anyone Really Own Sunglasses?

I've got this thing for sunglasses, I like them. If I could afford it I would have a closet full of them like Imelida Marcos had shoes. Living here in south Fla. they also have a purpose besides looking cool.




There is this one problem though, I keep losing the damn things! My theory is that no one really really owns a pair of sunglasses, they just pass them around. Hey, cool, I found a new pair of sunglasses, that look really cool on me! I'm gonna love the way I look in them...for about two weeks. Then someone else will get to look cool in them for the next two weeks. Oh well that's the way the sunglasses waltz goes.



MIKE'S LAW: "The length of time you will own a pair of sunglasses is in reverse proportion to the cost of the glasses."



I once bought a pair of killer loop sunglasses for $120.00, which I had for two whole days before I used them to block an overhead smash in a game of volley ball. On the bright side, I did block the shot for a point.



Now a days I work for a major airline, and I find a pair of sunglasses about every 2, or 3 weeks. Which is perfectly timed to correspond with my losing the last pair I found. If anyone out there has figured out a way NOT to lose their sunglasses, please clue me in.

I Don't Want No Alligator

I live in south Florida, no let me rephrase that, I live in south, south Florida. I live about 10 miles from the southern tip of Florida. In many ways this is paradise; warm sunny weather year round, lots of flora, and lots and fauna. We also have lots of alligators; and I do mean lots. They are protected by federal law. If you get caught killing one, the state will see to it that you have a lover, er, roommate named Bubba for the next few years.

For those of you not familiar with Florida, this state is riddled with hundreds, if not thousands of canals, and inter-coastal waterways. Each of which is riddled with thousands of alligators. Alligators, however are not normally a problem; unless you live near, or decide to swim in one of these waterways. Then all bets are off!

My step-son came down to visit us a couple of years ago. On the way back from the airport, we went over a canal bridge. It was a hot sunny day, so he asked me if he could take a dip in the canal. "That depends" I replied. "Depends on what?" he asked. "Well, it depends on if you want to be at the top of the food chain, or somewhere in between."

Last year, a young lady became despondent after breaking up with her boyfriend. She decided to get drunk, and then go dangle her feet in the canal near her home. They found her the next day; or should I say they found pieces of her the next day. That's one hell of a way to get over a breakup. She probably should have gone on a food, or shopping binge.

Early this year, an elderly lady went to answer a knock at the door of her condominium. Well it wasn't really a knock as much as it was a thump, thump, thump at her door. She answered the door to find a 15ft. alligator, asking her if her dog could come out to play. Seems the alligator had been targeting little fifi for a couple of weeks, hoping to make her a snack. When the dog wouldn't cooperate, and come near the canal; the alligator decided to take matters into his own claws. The funny thing is, the lady lived on the second floor! The alligator climbed two sets of stairs to meet this dog! They are not as dumb as they look.

So, if you are planning to visit Florida anytime soon, stick to your hotel pool, or the public beaches to go swimming. Lest you find out what its like to be on the wrong end of the food chain.

See You Later Alligator

I live in south Florida, no let me rephrase that, I live in south, south Florida. I live about 10 miles from the southern tip of Florida. In many ways this is paradise; warm sunny weather year round, lots of flora, and lots and fauna. We also have lots of alligators; and I do mean lots. They are protected by federal law. If you get caught killing one, the state will see to it that you have a lover, er roommate named Bubba for the next few years.

For those of you not familiar with Florida, this state is riddled with hundreds, if not thousands of canals, and inter-coastal waterways. Each of which is riddled with thousands of alligators. Alligators, however are not normally a problem; unless you live near, or decide to swim in one of these waterways. Then all bets are off!

My step-son came down to visit us a couple of years ago. On the way back from the airport, we went over a canal bridge. It was a hot sunny day, so he asked me if he could take a dip in the canal. "That depends" I replied. "Depends on what?" he asked. "Well, it depends on if you want to be at the top of the food chain, or somewhere in between."

Last year, a young lady became despondent after breaking up with her boyfriend. She decided to get drunk, and then go dangle her feet in the canal near her home. They found her the next day; or should I say they found pieces of her the next day. That's one hell of a way to get over a breakup. She probably should have gone on a food, or shopping binge.

Early this year, an elderly lady went to answer a knock at the door of her condominium. Well it wasn't really a knock as much as it was a thump, thump, thump at her door. She answered the door to find a 15ft. alligator, asking her if her dog could come out to play. Seems the alligator had been targeting little fifi for a couple of weeks, hoping to make her a snack. When the dog wouldn't cooperate, and come near the canal; the alligator decided to take matters into his own claws. The funny thing is, the lady lived on the second floor! The alligator climbed two sets of stairs to meet this dog! They are not as dumb as they look.

So, if you are planning to visit Florida anytime soon, stick to your hotel pool, or the public beaches to go swimming. Lest you find out what its like to be on the wrong end of the food chain.

See You Later Alligator

I live in south Florida, no let me rephrase that, I live in south, south Florida. I live about 10 miles from the southern tip of Florida. In many ways this is paradise; warm sunny weather year round, lots of flora, and lots and fauna. We also have lots of alligators; and I do mean lots. They are protected by federal law. If you get caught killing one, the state will see to it that you have a lover, er roommate named Bubba for the next few years.

For those of you not familiar with Florida, this state is riddled with hundreds, if not thousands of canals, and inter-coastal waterways. Each of which is riddled with thousands of alligators. Alligators, however are not normally a problem; unless you live near, or decide to swim in one of these waterways. Then all bets are off!

My step-son came down to visit us a couple of years ago. On the way back from the airport, we went over a canal bridge. It was a hot sunny day, so he asked me if he could take a dip in the canal. "That depends" I replied. "Depends on what?" he asked. "Well, it depends on if you want to be at the top of the food chain, or somewhere in between."

Last year, a young lady became despondent after breaking up with her boyfriend. She decided to get drunk, and then go dangle her feet in the canal near her home. They found her the next day; or should I say they found pieces of her the next day. That's one hell of a way to get over a breakup. She probably should have gone on a food, or shopping binge.

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Early this year, an elderly lady went to answer a knock at the door of her condominium. Well it wasn't really a knock as much as it was a thump, thump, thump at her door. She answered the door to find a 15ft. alligator, asking her if her dog could come out to play. Seems the alligator had been targeting little fifi for a couple of weeks, hoping to make her a snack. When the dog wouldn't cooperate, and come near the canal; the alligator decided to take matters into his own claws. The funny thing is, the lady lived on the second floor! The alligator climbed two sets of stairs to meet this dog! They are not as dumb as they look.

So, if you are planning to visit Florida anytime soon, stick to your hotel pool, or the public beaches to go swimming. Lest you find out what its like to be on the wrong end of the food chain.

See You Later Alligator

I live in south Florida, no let me rephrase that, I live in south, south Florida. I live about 10 miles from the southern tip of Florida. In many ways this is paradise; warm sunny weather year round, lots of flora, and lots and fauna. We also have lots of alligators; and I do mean lots. They are protected by federal law. If you get caught killing one, the state will see to it that you have a lover, er roommate named Bubba for the next few years.

For those of you not familiar with Florida, this state is riddled with hundreds, if not thousands of canals, and inter-coastal waterways. Each of which is riddled with thousands of alligators. Alligators, however are not normally a problem; unless you live near, or decide to swim in one of these waterways. Then all bets are off!

My step-son came down to visit us a couple of years ago. On the way back from the airport, we went over a canal bridge. It was a hot sunny day, so he asked me if he could take a dip in the canal. "That depends" I replied. "Depends on what?" he asked. "Well, it depends on if you want to be at the top of the food chain, or somewhere in between."

Last year, a young lady became despondent after breaking up with her boyfriend. She decided to get drunk, and then go dangle her feet in the canal near her home. They found her the next day; or should I say they found pieces of her the next day. That's one hell of a way to get over a breakup. She probably should have gone on a food, or shopping binge.

Early this year, an elderly lady went to answer a knock at the door of her condominium. Well it wasn't really a knock as much as it was a thump, thump, thump at her door. She answered the door to find a 15ft. alligator, asking her if her dog could come out to play. Seems the alligator had been targeting little fifi for a couple of weeks, hoping to make her a snack. When the dog wouldn't cooperate, and come near the canal; the alligator decided to take matters into his own claws. The funny thing is, the lady lived on the second floor! The alligator climbed two sets of stairs to meet this dog! They are not as dumb as they look.

So, if you are planning to visit Florida anytime soon, stick to your hotel pool, or the public beaches to go swimming. Lest you find out what its like to be on the wrong end of the food chain.