Monday, July 5, 2010

See You Later Alligator





I live in south Florida, no let me rephrase that, I live in south, south Florida. I live about 10 miles from the southern tip of Florida. In many ways this is paradise; warm sunny weather year round, lots of flora, and lots and fauna. We also have lots of alligators; and I do mean lots. They are protected by federal law. If you get caught killing one, the state will see to it that you have a lover, er roommate named Bubba for the next few years.

For those of you not familiar with Florida, this state is riddled with hundreds, if not thousands of canals, and inter-coastal waterways. Each of which is riddled with thousands of alligators. Alligators, however are not normally a problem; unless you live near, or decide to swim in one of these waterways. Then all bets are off!

My step-son came down to visit us a couple of years ago. On the way back from the airport, we went over a canal bridge. It was a hot sunny day, so he asked me if he could take a dip in the canal. "That depends" I replied. "Depends on what?" he asked. "Well, it depends on if you want to be at the top of the food chain, or somewhere in between."

Last year, a young lady became despondent after breaking up with her boyfriend. She decided to get drunk, and then go dangle her feet in the canal near her home. They found her the next day; or should I say they found pieces of her the next day. That's one hell of a way to get over a breakup. She probably should have gone on a food, or shopping binge.


Early this year, an elderly lady went to answer a knock at the door of her condominium. Well it wasn't really a knock as much as it was a thump, thump, thump at her door. She answered the door to find a 15ft. alligator, asking her if her dog could come out to play. Seems the alligator had been targeting little fifi for a couple of weeks, hoping to make her a snack. When the dog wouldn't cooperate, and come near the canal; the alligator decided to take matters into his own claws. The funny thing is, the lady lived on the second floor! The alligator climbed two sets of stairs to meet this dog! They are not as dumb as they look.

So, if you are planning to visit Florida anytime soon, stick to your hotel pool, or the public beaches to go swimming. Lest you find out what its like to be on the wrong end of the food chain.

10 comments:

Gucci Mama said...

I have a condo in West Palm, and I went in the pool at night once and I couldn't relax and enjoy it because I was petrified that an alligator had somehow sneaked his scaled little way in past the gates and was waiting to eat me. Totally irrational, yet a few years have passed and I still have the heebiest of jeebies just thinking about it.

Mike's Common Sense said...

Hi Gucci, stranger things have happened so it is best to be safe than sorry. Many, many people have gone to their pool for a swim and found an alligator there. Let me see, you live in Cali, and have a condo in W. Palm? Must be nice.

Gucci Mama said...

It's not bad. ;) But I've only been in California about six months. Before that it was Montana, so having the condo in the winter time was especially nice. I'd live in Florida full time if I could work it out. Love it.

Crazy Brunette said...

AWESOME Mike... Thanks a lot... Guess we're going to California instead of Florida in August!

Mike's Common Sense said...

Hi Ashley! You are safe in Fla. just stay out of the canals, and watch out you don't get robbed or arrested in the Keys.

gayle said...

Next time I am visiting I will be sure to watch out!!

Mike's Common Sense said...

Hi Gayle! Unless you go to the everglades and try to pet one (my friend did) you have no worries unless you swim where you shouldn't.

reener said...

Are you shittin' me? That alligator actually climbed those stairs?

*crossing off "visit Florida" on "places to visit".

Mike's Common Sense said...

Hi Reener! Yes he did, but don't let that stoop you from visiting our beautiful State. lol

Adnohr said...

I can remember reading this one! You forgot to mention you have people walking around with huge, pet snakes dangling around their necks. UGH! I know why I love SNOW!