The Constitution Is NOT "Just a Piece Of Paper"

President George W. Bush once commented that the Constitution was "Just a piece of paper." NO! G.W. Moron it isn't! The Constitution may have been written on a piece of paper, but it is the law of the land. There are many millions of Americans who swore an oath to defend that Constitution, and they really meant it.

The Bill of Rights to that Constitution are a testament to the genius of our Founding Fathers, and the lighthouse showing the way of freedom to the entire world. Every one of those freedoms were carefully chosen to protect the rights of INDIVIDUALS against oppression. Our Founding Fathers through past experience, knew that most oppression of the people came from their own corrupt government; thus the Constitution is in place to protect the people from their own government if it went bad.

Once again the Second Amendment is under attack because of a mass shooting. I am not a advocate for guns, but I am a HUGE advocate of the Second Amendment. As long as EVERY Federal agency, military, swat team, police force is armed; the American people need to be armed in case the above forces are ever corrupted, or taken over.

That is my take, as you were.

The Magic 8 Ball

I have a special post for you today. Thanks to my pig Wilbur having a temper tantrum today, knocking over a small bureau on my patio, I have been reconnected with my magic 8 ball. You know what I mean don’t you? Yeah, the 8 ball we all played with when we were kids. I love the magic 8 ball; it always has an answer for any question you might ask it.



Knowing that many of you have some burning questions for the magic 8 ball, I thought I would use my superior interrogating skills to get some answers for these popular questions from my magic 8 ball.



1) Oh, magic 8 ball, was ex President Bush a moron, or just a very bad President?    “Most Certainly”
2) Magic 8 ball, Are the N.Y. Mets the biggest choke artists in the world, or just classic under achievers?   “All signs point to yes”
3) Magic 8 ball, is Kim Jong Il of North Korea a mad man, or a puppet of China?    “The way I see it yes”
4) Please tell me magic 8 ball, now that G.M. has received billions of dollars of bail out money, will they still go bankrupt, and take all of our money with them?    “ Very likely”
5) Magic 8 ball, speaking of the people’s bail out of the lending institutions; did the people get a raw deal at the hands of their elected officials?    “Bend over” (I didn’t even know that response was in there!)
6) Magic 8 ball, is President Obama a free thinker, or just a shill for big money, big business?     “Ask again later”
7) Magic 8 ball, judging from the most popular TV shows, are most Americans really stupid, or is the government putting too much fluoride into the drinking water?       "It is certain"”
8) Oh, magic 8 ball, will the large oil companies ever allow the car manufacturers, to make and sell a gasoline-free car?         “Out look not good”
9) Magic 8 ball, will South Florida be hit by a hurricane that will make Andrew look like a summer breeze?            “Better not tell you”
10) Magic 8 ball, how did you feel after my pig Wilbur knocked you and your bureau over today?                 “ Answer hazy”



There you go folks, all of your important questions answered, by my impeccable interview with my magic 8 ball.



By the way, my 8 ball and I are available for private sessions, at a reasonable price.









I am re-posting my book The True Adventures of Wilbur the Pig on my web site. True stories of my life with a pig; it is funny, and it is true.  Check it out.

- Place Title Here -

This post was originally published in Jan. 2009 in an alternate universe.  It is back for your enjoyment.






This comes as no big surprise to many people, but George W. Bush is a lame duck President. This is no surprise, because over 70% of Americans feel he was a pretty lame President. Personally, I never thought I would ever see a President as bad as Jimmy Carter, but after living through eight long years with Bush at the helm of our nation, the Carter years seem like a Hawaiian vacation -- at a five-star hotel, with your own personal hula girls, unlimited mai-tais, a personal yacht with scuba gear, and all the roasted pig and poi you can eat. God, I long for those good old days!

With two months left in office, President Bush decided to take action...putting his memoirs together.

Seems ole George remembers the huge payday Bill Clinton received for publishing his uncensored biography, and now he wants to cash in. However, there's a problem. With the exception of billionaires and religious zealots, George is universally detested. He can't find a publisher willing to give him the big money that Bill, or Hillary got. Hell, he can't tell us about getting illicit blow jobs in the Oval Office, or how he inserted cigars into certain orifices of White House pages. Not only is he dumber than a box of cotton balls, he is also as dull. 


 So, while George is trying to secure a publisher for these memoirs, I thought I would help him with a title for his book.

1. The Fleecing of America
2. I Was Only Kidding About WMDs
3. My Eight Years of Being a F-Stick
4. What, Me Worry?
5. Not All Oil Barons are Assholes
6. The Constitution is for Sissies
7. Read My Lips
8. How To Turn a Super Power Into a Laughing Stock
9. It Was Good For Me, How About You?
10. Be Glad It Was Me, and Not Chaney
11. I Only Look Dumb
12. Being President Is Better Money Than Owning the Texas Rangers

What, Me Worry?

(Due to popular demand, the following post, originally published on September 15, 2008 in an alternate universe, proudly makes an encore appearance.)



Welcome to Black Monday.
The Dow Jones lost 500 points today. Reports state that gasoline will soon be back over $4.00/gal and is headed for $5.00. A five-pound bag of potatoes costs $5.00, and a single tomato is going for $2.00 apiece! While there are no bread lines, yet, there soon will be.

Former head of the Federal Reserve, Alan Greenspan, stated today that we are headed for a world-wide recession, and things  will get worse before they get better. Mortgage foreclosures are so bad that some of the nation's largest banks have gone bankrupt, while others avoided bankruptcy by being bought by bigger banks.

Who will come to rescue us from this plight?

Well, Heaven knows it won't be President Bush. He just spent the last eight years putting us in this mess. Someone at work today said that the Federal government should do  something to regulate gas prices. DUH! I replied to him, "Well, when you elected an oil-baron president, what did you expect?" Bush has about 100 days left in office, and he will spend every last one of them trying to wring every last penny he can (for himself and his cronies) out of the American people.

I tried to warn people eight years ago about the danger of electing an oil-baron president but they were more concerned about abortion, the danger of same-sex marriages, swearing on TV and radio, and other right-wing conservative problems.

Heaven forbid we let women decide for themselves about issues concerning their own bodies.
Heaven forbid two consenting adults want to be a family.
Heaven forbid someone should SAY something blue on the radio.

If the American people spent half the time worrying about the American people as they do listening to hell-fire-and-damnation lectures from conservative preachers, we probably would not be in this mess. I am not, by nature a political person, but if you want to know my true feelings about American democracy, read "Eeney, Meeney, Miney, Moe".

As for me, I am not worried. I passed Boy Scout survival training 40 years ago. I'm ready at a moment's notice to start digging for grubs, and eating bugs (here in Florida I'll be eating well).

Hope you fare as well.