Well, its finally here! Football season is upon us. It has been a very long lonely time since the NFL draft. You see, I am addicted to football. I don't even play fantasy football, (that would make me a geek) but I am NFL ready 24-7.
I know there are many people out there sighing to themselves (all women). "His poor wife, how can he neglect her so!?" F' them I say! Truth be told, she has her own monkey on her back; she is addicted to the Lifetime Movie Network (LMN).
I know there are many people out there (all men) saying "My God! No one should have to put up with that kind of torture!" It's true. Give me water-boarding! Put bamboo shoots up my fingernails! Anything but more LMN!
I have personally seen every movie on that channel at least three times (I have to put up with LMN to get any nookie). Imagine how many times she has seen them? Yet she watches religiously every day. Believe it or not.
I'm thinking of shooting an e-mail to the FCC to check on the possible use of subliminal programming on LMN. She watches that channel as if she were in a trance.
The worst part of this whole story, is that our bedroom TV is her TV (mine is on the back patio) so I have to listen to this crap all night long!
I don't want to even consider the damage being done to my subconscious.