The Art Of Listening

Last post I talked about a different way to verbalize one's opinions, and needs, in a more effective manner to enhance communication; this post is about completing the communication process, listening.

Communication, is by definition, a give, and TAKE of ideas, and needs.

Too often, when we discuss something, we state our views, then mark time thinking of what we will say next, instead of truly listening to what the other person has to say.

How many times have you been in a group conversation, when everyone is so avid about what they want to say, that the whole conversation turns into a shouting match? We all have something to say, but without the patience to listen, communication breaks down into your average day on "The View".

Between everyone thinking they are right, and the mental clutter going on when you are not talking, it is a wonder anyone can learn anything.

Nobody learns anything by talking, only by listening. All wise people have one thing in common, they are good listeners. Perhaps that is why they are wise, they have mastered the art of listening.

I have another great book for you to check out (I feel like Oprah), it's called "the Zen of Listening" by Rebecca Z. Shafir, M.A.CCC. Ms. Shafir goes into detail how one can become a good listener. By mastering the art of listening, you open the door to learning, and you open the door to better relationships. This is true for any relationship, your spouse, your child, your boss, your employee, etc.

As important as it is to express yourself, it is more important to receive what the other person has to say, only then, can you work things out; only then, can you learn and grow together.

Always and Forever

True love is forever. This is not a metaphor, or the writing of a poet. True love is what we all receive from God 24-7, always and forever. No matter whom you are; no matter what you do, you will always have God’s love.


Many religions teach that if you do not follow their path you will lose God’s love and be damned to eternal misery in hell. Nothing could be farther from the truth.


We all need to be mindful of our actions, and take responsibility for them, but they are not, nor will they ever become the parameters to decide whether or not God loves us. Anytime you hear someone telling you that you will go to hell if you don't follow their religion, realize that they are subtly trying to control you.


There are repercussions from our actions, whether good or bad, and that is accomplished through karma. Karma is what all souls in the worlds of duality have to contend with. The purpose of karma is to teach all souls the lessons they must learn before they can graduate from these lower worlds. If you have lived a particularly evil life, the effects of karma can be very harsh in one of your next lifetimes, but you are never cut off from God’s love.


The belief that you have been cut off from God’s love is called despair. The Catholic Church has always taught that the one true mortal sin is despair. The reason for this is that if you believe you have been cut off from God’s love, you will needlessly cut yourself off from God because you believe you are not worthy.


We all make mistakes; it is part of the human make up. We learn through trial and error, with karma showing us how we erred. Learning in this method is slow, and it takes many lifetimes to earn your degree to leave these worlds of duality.


If you screw up, try not to get down on yourself too hard, and definitely don't try to hide from God.
God understands these things.


God’s love is always and forever.

Grasping the Concept

In college I was a psychology major. The toughest course we had to take was Experimental Psychology. I was intimidated from day one. I went to every class, I took copious notes, I sat in front (the professor was Japanese and hard to understand), I read all of the required chapters, and I high lighted all of the important terms, facts, and data. On our first big test I scored a whopping 38! Needless to say I was shocked and full of despair about passing this class.

Out of desperation I went to talk with the professor during his office hours that week. Dr Ashida was very nice and personable and tried to put me at ease. When I explained to him that I had worked very hard in his class I scored only a 38 on his first test. He said "Em, everybody do bad on that test, do not feel bad." Then he said "How did you prepare for the test?" I then told him all of the things I had done to try to be successful in his class. "Open your book to Chapter 4." I opened my book and Dr. Ashida could see all of the high lighted marks on the pages. "Why do you high light in your book like that?" he asked. "I do it to help me remember the important terms, and facts I need to know when I study" I replied. "You are missing the point here about learning. To learn you need to read the whole chapter and understand the concept. Once you grasp the concept, all of the terms, and facts will come to you naturally as you explain the concept. Do you understand?"

I did understand. I tried doing it Dr. Ashida's way and he was right. After Dr Ashida taught me how to study, I never high-lighted anything ever again. I learned to grasp the main concept and not to worry about the small stuff. Tests got easier because I knew what I was talking about; and I got an A in Experimental Psych. His teaching helped me throughout my college career, and in any learning situation I found myself in.

We hope it helps you too.

The Art Of Listening

Last post I talked about a different way to verbalize one's opinions, and needs, in a more effective manner to enhance communication; this post is about completing the communication process, listening.

Communication, is by definition, a give, and TAKE of ideas, and needs.

Too often, when we discuss something, we state our views, then mark time thinking of what we will say next, instead of truly listening to what the other person has to say.

How many times have you been in a group conversation, when everyone is so avid about what they want to say, that the whole conversation turns into a shouting match? We all have something to say, but without the patience to listen, communication breaks down into your average day on "The View".

Between everyone thinking they are right, and the mental clutter going on when you are not talking, it is a wonder anyone can learn anything.

Nobody learns anything by talking, only by listening. All wise people have one thing in common, they are good listeners. Perhaps that is why they are wise, they have mastered the art of listening.

I have another great book for you to check out (I feel like Oprah), its called "The Zen of Listening" by Rebecca Z. Shafir, M.A.CCC. Ms. Shafir goes into detail how one can become a good listener. By mastering the art of listening, you open the door to learning, and you open the door to better relationships. This is true for any relationship, your spouse, your child, your boss, your employee, etc.

As important as it is to express yourself, it is more important to receive what the other person has to say, only then, can you work things out; only then, can you learn and grow together.

Grasping the Concept

In college I was a psychology major. The toughest course we had to take was Experimental Psychology. I was intimidated from day one. I went to every class, I took copious notes, I sat in front (the professor was Japanese and hard to understand), I read all of the required chapters, and I high lighted all of the important terms, facts, and data. On our first big test I scored a whopping 38!  

Needless to say I was shocked and full of despair about passing this class.

Out of desperation I went to talk with the professor during his office hours that week. Dr Ashida was very nice and personable and tried to put me at ease. When I explained to him that I had worked very hard in his class I scored only a 38 on his first test. He said "Em, everybody do bad on that test, do not feel bad." Then he said "How did you prepare for the test?" I then told him all of the things I had done to try to be successful in his class. "Open your book to Chapter 4." I opened my book and Dr. Ashida could see all of the high lighted marks on the pages. "Why do you high light in your book like that?" he asked. "I do it to help me remember the important terms, and facts I need to know when I study" I replied.

"You are missing the point here about learning. To learn you need to read the whole chapter and understand the concept. Once you grasp the concept, all of the terms, and facts will come to you naturally as you explain the concept. Do you understand?"

I did understand. I tried doing it Dr. Ashida's way and he was right. After Dr Ashida taught me how to study, I never high-lighted anything ever again. I learned to grasp the main concept and not to worry about the small stuff. Tests got easier because I knew what I was talking about; and I got an A in Experimental Psych. His teaching helped me throughout my college career, and in any learning situation I found myself in.

We hope it helps you too.

Grasping the Concept

In college I was a psychology major. The toughest course we had to take was Experimental Psychology. I was intimidated from day one. I went to every class, I took copious notes, I sat in front (the professor was Japanese and hard to understand), I read all of the required chapters, and I highlighted all of the important terms, facts, and data.

 On our first big test I scored a whopping 38! Needless to say I was shocked and full of despair about passing this class.

Out of desperation I went to talk with the professor during his office hours that week. Dr Ashida was very nice and personable and tried to put me at ease. When I explained to him that I had worked very hard in his class and I scored only a 38 on his first test. He said "Em, everybody do bad on that test, do not feel bad." Then he said "How did you prepare for the test?" I then told him all of the things I had done to try to be successful in his class.

 "Open your book to Chapter 4." I opened my book and Dr. Ashida could see all of the highlighted marks on the pages. "Why do you highlight in your book like that?" he asked. "I do it to help me remember the important terms, and facts I need to know when I study" I replied. "You are missing the point here about learning. To learn you need to read the whole chapter and understand the concept. Once you grasp the concept, all of the terms, and facts will come to you naturally as you explain the concept. Do you understand?"

I did understand. I tried doing it Dr. Ashida's way and he was right. After Dr Ashida taught me how to study, I never highlighted anything ever again. I learned to grasp the main concept and not to worry about the small stuff. Tests got easier because I knew what I was talking about; and I got an A in Experimental Psych. His teaching helped me throughout my college career, and in any learning situation I found myself in.

We hope it helps you too.

This Is Only A Test...

This world is nothing more than one large school for the maturation of the souls that inhabit it. Sin, as we have been taught by the religions of this world, in fact does not exist. Instead of thinking of our transgression as sins, it would spiritually be more correct to call them mistakes.

I mean no insult to my fundamentalist readers, but my words are based on the immortality of soul, karma, and reincarnation. The notion that each of us is a body, that owns a soul; and has but one lifetime to determine whether we go to heaven or hell, is incorrect, and propagated by the religions of the world, in order to control the masses. The truth is that we ARE soul, and we take on various bodies, from lifetime to lifetime, in order to gain the experiences necessary in order to earn knowledge of our divinity.

These are not easy lessons to learn, and for most of us, we have spent multiple lifetimes in order to learn just one of the lessons. We learn through the accumulation of karma. Karma from the view point of eternity is not punishment, but rather a chance to realize past mistakes, and to learn from them. For example, say you as soul, have been working on overcoming prejudice. In a past lifetime, you were prejudiced against black people, and cruel to them. Chances are, in your next lifetime you will be a black man, under going what you did to others previously. As you can see, learning is a slow arduous journey for each individual soul.

Each one of us is here because we still have lessons to master. We are constantly being tested to assess our progress. Sometimes we pass the test and move on to something else, other times we fail. Failing a test is something we all do quite a bit, because none of us are perfect. If we were perfect, we would not be here, unless it was as a teacher for others. When we fail a test, we go through the karma involved, and then get retested.

So if you make a transgression, don't regret it, and don’t fuss about it. You will be retested again soon.

Learn from everything, regret nothing.

If you wish to learn more about karma, reincarnation, and what each soul goes through in-between lifetimes, I highly recommend the book “Journey of Souls” by Dr. Michael Newton. It is a fascinating, and eye opening book.

Don't Think Twice, That's Alright

There's an old saying, "If you don't use it, you lose it". If that's true, the average American brain must be in a state of atrophy. Most of us are seldom called upon to use our cerebral cortex anymore. Network TV shows, commercials, our schools, our jobs, etc. have all been "dumbed down" to the point where mental acuity is no longer necessary. No one even performs simple math anymore without the use of a calculator. Think about it, when was the last time you performed multiplication, or division on a piece of paper without a calculator?

I admit, I am as guilty as the next person; I like modern conveniences. My posts would not be the same if I did not have a spell checker to fall back on. The point I'm trying to make is that, we are now conditioned not to think, because we aren't often called upon to do so. The problem with this conditioning, is that society is quickly becoming a herd mentality. Reasoning, and creativity, are becoming things of the past. That's a big problem if mankind is to grow and prosper.

Part of this problem, is everyone's need to be entertained all the time. Whether its an i-pod, TV, computer, or cell phone, everyone is preoccupied with something. Seldom do people read in order to learn something. Novels are very popular, but, nonfiction, history, and science books seldom make the NY Times best seller lists.

I am all for entertainment; we all need to relax and get away once in a while. However, just like you need to exercise your body to keep it in proper working order; you also should have a mental exercise regimen. I like to do the NY Times crossword to keep sharp. I also will mix in informational reading, along with my favorite fiction writers.

Our children need to be taught to balance video games, and TV, with school work, and informational reading. Getting them in the habit of reading the newspaper everyday is a good start. Teach them, "if you don't use it, you lose it".

Mike's List

I have noticed that everyone is writing their list about themselves, so I thought I would join in. I must warn you that I am a Virgo, and that my natal chart says that I am too open to others about myself (so expect a long list). Sigh, oh well here we go.

1) I am the second of three sons all one year apart in age, and I have two twin sisters five years younger than me.
2) I have always been very athletic, and active in sports.
3) My dream job has always been to be a stand-up comedian.
4) I starred in two operettas, and always had a solo song as a member of chorus in elementary school.
5) I still love to sing, and love to go to karaoke.
6) I am a former disc jockey
7) I am a rock-n-roll historian with a huge record collection.
8) I wrestled in high school and college, but never really liked it; I was just good at it.
9) Football was my best, and favorite sport to play. If I had grown to be as big as my dad, 6' 2" 235lbs, I would have played in the NFL.
10) I am 5' 10" and weigh 215 (oops).
11) I have a B.A. in psychology, with minors in History, and English.
12) I had my first ESP experience at age 10.
13) I am an expert on ESP, parapsychology, the occult, and the arcane.
14) I do N.Y. Times crossword puzzles during lunch at work.
15) I like cold beer, bourbon, and cigars.
16) I coached a woman's football team in college.
17) I have a high I.Q. and don't really fit in with others. I am basically a loner.
18) I have been a recreational runner for almost twenty years and have run the distance from New York City to Los Angeles a couple of times over.
19) I have completed five marathons.
20) I have two kids, a boy, and a girl, aged 26, and 24 respectively.
21) I have been in the airline profession since 1976.
22) I am embarrassed to admit that of almost 250 blog posts, the most read is "Big Butts" with tens of thousands of readers world wide.
23) I do like to party and have a good time.
24) I own a pot bellied pig, his name is Wilbur.
25) I have written an e-book "The True Adventures of Wilbur the Pig" which can be found on my web site mikescommonsense-12@blogspot.com and is available at lulu.com for a nominal fee of $1.99. You will have to go back in the archive to May to find it. It is true, and it is funny.
26) I played drums in the University of Miami Band of the Hour.
27) I have been an Oakland/Los Angles/Oakland Raiders fan since 1966.
28) I am a University of Miami football fan.
29) I have had many out of body experiences, and lucid dreams.
30) I know I am soul, and I am not afraid of death.
31) I am a happily married man, and have been married over eight years.

Well there it is. I hope after learning all the inside info on me we can still be friends. Mike

The Art of Listening

Communication is the giving, and receiving of information. This article is about the receiving process, listening. Communication, is by definition, a give, and take of ideas, and needs. Too often, when we discuss something, we state our views, then mark time thinking of what we will say next, instead of truly listening to what the other person has to say.

How many times have you been in a group conversation, when everyone is so avid about what they want to say, that the whole conversation turns into a shouting match? We all have something to say, but without the patience to listen, communication breaks down into your average day on "The View".
Between everyone thinking they are right, and the mental clutter going on when you are not talking, it is a wonder anyone can learn anything.

Nobody learns anything by talking, only by listening. All wise people have one thing in common, they are good listeners. Perhaps that is why they are wise, they have mastered the art of listening.
Here is a great book for you to check out (I feel like Oprah), its called "the Zen of Listening" by Rebecca Z. Shafir, M.A.CCC. Ms. Shafir goes into detail how one can become a good listener. By mastering the art of listening, you open the door to learning, and you open the door to better relationships. This is true for any relationship, your spouse, your child, your boss, your employee, etc.

As important as it is to express yourself, it is more important to receive what the other person has to say, only then, can you work things out; only then, can you learn and grow together.

This Is Only a Test...

This world is nothing more than one large school for the maturation of the souls that inhabit it. Sin, as we have been taught by the religions of this world, in fact does not exist. Instead of thinking of our transgression as sins, it would spiritually be more correct to call them mistakes.

I mean no insult to my fundamentalist readers, but my words are based on the immortality of soul, karma, and reincarnation. The notion that each of us is a body, that owns a soul; and has but one lifetime to determine whether we go to heaven or hell, is incorrect, and propagated by the religions of the world, in order to control the masses. The truth is that we ARE soul, and we take on various bodies, from lifetime to lifetime, in order to gain the experiences necessary in order to earn knowledge of our divinity.

These are not easy lessons to learn, and for most of us, we have spent multiple lifetimes in order to learn just one of the lessons. We learn through the accumulation of karma. Karma from the view point of eternity is not punishment, but rather a chance to realize past mistakes, and to learn from them. For example, say you as soul, have been working on overcoming prejudice. In a past lifetime, you were prejudiced against black people, and cruel to them. Chances are, in your next lifetime you will be a black man, under going what you did to others previously.

As you can see, learning is a slow arduous journey for each individual soul.

Each one of us is here because we still have lessons to master. We are constantly being tested to assess our progress. Sometimes we pass the test and move on to something else, other times we fail. Failing a test is something we all do quite a bit, because none of us are perfect. If we were perfect, we would not be here, unless it was as a teacher for others. When we fail a test, we go through the karma involved, and then get retested.

So if you make a transgression, don't regret it, and don't fuss about it. You will be retested again soon.

Learn from everything, regret nothing.

Stupid Things

 Prologue:  I was reading The Crazy Brunette Chick's blog and it gave me the inspiration for this article.  If you are not familiar with C.B. as she is affectionately known; hit this link and get turned on.





I am dangerous with a knife in my hands. My fingers and other digits cringe in fear whenever I decide I need to cut or slice something. Sometimes, I forget which side of the blade I need to cut with, and which side I need to push down on. Other times I forget to get my fingers out of the way when I close the knife; and other times I just forget that I have a knife in my hand. Fortunately my propensity for doing stupid things with a knife is off set by my ability to heal quickly.



I also do other stupid things, such as lock my keys in the car, leave my head lights on, (thank God for that little buzzer), leave the stove on, lean back on kitchen chairs, and run on wet tile floors. I have down loaded programs that aren’t compatible with my version of windows, left my cell phone in my shirt pocket, then bent over to flush the toilet, and lit my back yard gas grill with a match when the gas was on high. My miraculous healing abilities, high endurance of pain, hard head, quick growing eye brows, and AAA have helped me recover from some of these.



I have been known to run my mouth without engaging my brain, walk into objects that are in plain sight, light my nose on fire instead of my cigar (I have a big nose), walk into opposing stadiums wearing Raider’s clothes, throw my whites in with the colored laundry (I went through college wearing pink underwear), wear sneakers to a dance on a gym floor, and hammer my thumb instead of the nail.



We all do stupid things; after all we are only human. I think the only really stupid thing is to do them a second or third time. With the exception of wearing Raider’s gear to opposing stadiums, I do my best to learn from my mistakes. My guardian angel is busy enough with the mistakes I make the first time around.