The Magic 8 Ball

I have a special post for you today. Thanks to my pig Rosebud having a temper tantrum today, knocking over a small bureau on my patio, I have been reconnected with my magic 8 ball. You know what I mean don’t you? Yeah, the 8 ball we all played with when we were kids. I love the magic 8 ball; it always has an answer for any question you might ask it.

Knowing that many of you have some burning questions for the magic 8 ball, I thought I would use my superior interrogating skills to get some answers for these popular questions from my magic 8 ball.

1) Oh, magic 8 ball, was ex President Bush a moron, or just a very bad President? “Most Certainly”

2) Magic 8 ball, Are the Atlanta Falcons the biggest choke artists in the world, or just classic under achievers? “All signs point to yes”

3) Magic 8 ball, is Kim Jong Il of North Korea a mad man, or a puppet of China? “The way I see it yes”

4) Please tell me magic 8 ball, now that G.M. has received billions of dollars of bail out money, will they pick up shop and take it all to China, and take all of our money with them? “ Very likely”

5) Magic 8 ball, speaking of the people’s bail out of the lending institutions; did the people get a raw deal at the hands of their elected officials? “Bend over” (I didn’t even know that response was in there!)

6) Magic 8 ball, is President Trump a free thinker, or just a shill for big money, big business? “You don't want to know”

7) Magic 8 ball, judging from the most popular TV shows, are most Americans really stupid, or is the government putting too much fluoride into the drinking water? "It is certain"”

8) Oh, magic 8 ball, will the large oil companies ever allow the car manufacturers, to make and sell a gasoline-free car? “Out look not good”

9) Magic 8 ball, will South Florida be hit by a hurricane that will make Andrew look like a summer breeze? “Better not tell you”

10)Magic 8 ball, how did you feel after my pig Wilbur knocked you and your bureau over today? “ Answer hazy”

There you go folks, all of your important questions answered, by my impeccable interview with my magic 8 ball.

By the way, my 8 ball and I are available for private sessions, at a reasonable price.

The Cone Of Death!

I really like living in South Florida. It has a lot to be said about it. I love it sunny and nice everyday. The summers, however can be a little hard to take, the sun is brutal, the humidity is stifling, and South Florida is a magnet for hurricanes.

Every year, you live knowing, another Andrew type hurricane could hit again...and boy do the local TV channels rake in big dough! There is nothing like scaring someone, to get them to pay attention, and here in Miami, we are nearing def com 4.

We now have hurricane Sandy churning about 800 miles to the southeast of us. The possibility of a hurricane is imminent.  Now is the time for "all hurricane, all the time, programming"!

Believe you me, we can't get enough of it!  We love "all hurricane, all the time"!

To people who have never paid much attention to hurricanes before, you don't know what you're missing.  All the excitement down here revolves around the ever changing, very mysterious, projection track that the computers THINK the storm is going to follow. This track is known as " the cone" because the farther you project away, the larger the scope of the cone.

I have affectionately tabbed this "The Cone of Death"

.

Here in Miami we are soooo hooked on the cone of death. Everybody is constantly asking "are we in the cone?" Since nobody has any frigging idea where a hurricane is going to go, they keep changing the cone. One hour you're in, the next hour out.

Now, its hard to really get into this game, if you live in say... Maine.... No! To really play and get into this game you have to come down here in South Florida and sit on the bull's eye with us.

You'd be hooked on "all hurricane programming, all the time" too.