Sunday, October 2, 2011

Negotiating Love


Love when you are young is a special thing. There is lots of exploring, and lots of passion. Love is exciting, and it is spontaneous. You have hooked up with the most lovely girl in the universe, and she lives just to please you.
Then, you do something stupid; you marry her.
Sure, the first couple of years there are still some steamy nights, but after seven years, and a couple of kids, things tend to change. You find your wife is no longer frothing at the mouth to get mounted by you. This is when you realize you will spend the rest of your life negotiating for love.
My brother has been negotiating for love many years now. His best tactic is to tell his wife that if she doesn't want him to get prostrate cancer, she has to let him keep the workings workable...if you know what I mean.
My brother's method works because he has a wife that gives a rat's ass about him. Very rare. Most of us married guys have to negotiate much harder for their love. Here is an example.
"Come on honey, it's been three weeks." "I haven't felt well. You only think about yourself." "That's not true honey, I brought you home some Chicken McNuggets yesterday." "Yeah, but they were cold." "Come on honey, you know I love you, and will always take care of you." If you did you would show it." "Name it honey, you've got it!" "Well, a trip to Olive Garden might get me in the mood." "Ok, ok Olive Garden it is, but you promise when we get home...." "Well there is one more thing..." "What is it my goddess?" "Clean out the cat box, and take out the trash."
As Rodney Dangerfield would say, "It's not easy being married!"
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This site is more a column than a blog. I write humorous, spiritual, and political articles. Everything I write is designed to make you think; what you think is up to you.