Back in the fall of of 1973 I was a young freshman at the University of Miami. I was given a room at the older dorm, Mahoney Hall. There was no air conditioning in our room, so the September nights were often pillow soaked experiences.
Late in that month, they installed a room air conditioner. My roommate Andy and I thought this would be our salvation. We were wrong. It led to us not rooming together the next year. Why? The reason was I like it cool, and he liked it COLD.
I had a job at the campus bakery that started at 05:00, so I normally would be in bed by 9:30 or 10:00. He had a rich dad, so he came to bed whenever he felt like it. The problem was I would set the air conditioner on low when I went to bed, and Andy would come in later and set it on high. At 4:15 in the morning, I would wake up to a frosty greeting.
Now I grew up in upstate NY, and the reason I went to UM was to avoid frosty mornings. So the fact that I found myself freezing, dancing around on the cold tile floor, trying to dodge snow flakes, quickly lost its appeal to me. So long Andy.
Turn the clock ahead 30 years. Here I am once again living in Miami, (because I got real sick of being cold). Everything was going great, until my wife started going through menopause. She started experiencing "hot flashes". I really don't understand why they call them "flashes" because she is always having one! They really aren't "hot moments" either. Let just call them "hot, four years and running, never ending periods" of her life.
So here I am, with a room air conditioner in my bedroom, cranked to high, every night. I still have to work at 05:00, But since the commute is 26 miles, I now get to dance around on cold tiles, and avoid snow flakes at 3:15. Its even worse after my hot shower when I come out of my bathroom hopping around like a mexican jumping bean, trying to keep warm as I try to get dressed. What a funny "America's Funniest Home Videos" segment that would make! (Except that I'm naked)
I'm thinking Andy wasn't so bad after all, at least he never nagged me.
11 comments:
HAHAha!! Fate, it seems, is not without a sense of irony. I like the way you anthropomorphized the mexican jumping bean by comparing it to yourself. You should be prepared to run when your wife gets another one of those hot flashes. She might place you right beside the tacos and salsa and have you for lunch. lol. Thanks for the laughs, Mike.
Hi Ryhen, glad you enjoy my pain. Someday it will be you. huh huh
Oh boo hoo!
Are YOU having hot flashes, are YOU having feeling of unexplained irritations and feeling like you might shoot the next person you see for no apparent reason?
Mmmmhmmm, that's what I thought sir.
AND you ALSO did not bleed for 1 week out of EVERY month for the last 40 years of your life.
Be sympathetic and suck it up Mikey.
Hi Ashley! I thought the whole point of the article was to show everyone just how great a husband I am! I am still with her right?
PS Ashley, Sorry you and all women have periods; and I am very sorry for me, and all guys that have to put up with you during that time of the month.
HaHa Ass!
I just meant quit bitching and get a heated blanket!
She probably enjoys your naked happy dance at 5AM anyway!
ROFLMAO! You guys are funny! HAHAHA *cough* *cough*
We try, you know...
I have to let him know when he's he's being a retard. That's why he loves me though.
Ashley, I am not a fucking retard! (I don't think I am anyway). I am a whiner, there is a difference you know.
Ashley I heart you right back. thx for reading my blog.
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