Thursday, November 13, 2008

We Hope You Have a Miserable Flight With Us Today

I work for one of the major airlines here in Miami. The good news is I get to fly for free (provided there is an unused seat available). The bad news is I get treated just like everybody else (crappy).

It seems that the airlines today are trying to get us to forget that you have to pay for checked baggage, overkill security, no snacks, etc. by treating us all like seven-year-old children. Flight attendant training now resembles Nazi nun training, as evidenced by the way these people patrol the aisles, looking for reasons to berate the passengers.

Heaven forbid your seat is inclined 1" during takeoff or landing because you will be made to feel as if you are the lowest of low. I had my earphones on, and plugged into the planes' audio system as we taxied for takeoff. One FA stopped to yell at me, "All personal electric devices have to be turned off until after takeoff!" I had every passenger within earshot looking at me as if I were a felon. I then pointed out to the nice lady that my headphones were plugged into the armrest and not some offending iPod. Without a word she just kept going, looking for the next low-down perpetrator.

Throughout that whole flight we had another Nazi nun, er, FA, talking over the public address system, telling us what was now permissable, and what was not permissable. I am not a mechanic, but I do know that the shielding for the aircraft's radio system is good enough that every person on board could be operating ten iPods each, and not affect it. So if that is the case, why the harassment? Could it be that they have nothing better to do?

Like I mentioned, they no longer hand out pillows and blankets, no longer serve meals or snacks, and no longer assist passenger needs.

But heaven forbid you have to go to the restroom when the "Fasten Seatbelt" sign is on. You will have every FA on that aircraft tell you to go back to your seat as you walk down the aisle, even if it's two hours before landing.

Welcome to the friendly skies!
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This site is more a column than a blog. I write humorous, spiritual, and political articles. Everything I write is designed to make you think; what you think is up to you.