I am a pretty laid-back kind of guy. I try to maintain an even keel on a day-to-day basis. But right now, I am contemplating calling the suicide hot line. I need help! You see, my wife just brought home dog number six yesterday.
Some friend of hers couldn't keep the dog when they decided to move into some swanky new condo...So guess what? I get even less room in my bed to sleep! Now, my wife is a very nice person, and an animal lover. And I am a nice guy, and an animal lover. But man, you gotta learn how to say no.
(Not that I did, when she asked me if it was ok if she brought the dog home.)
I got to admit, I am a soft touch (and soft in the head). The new dog is little more than a puppy, and she is adjusting very well with the other dogs. And she has already taken a fancy to lying in our bed...
Here is a song for you, sung to the tune "Squeeze Box" by The Who:
Mama's got six dogs, she loves them the best,
And when Daddy gets home, he can't get no rest,
'Cause they're all lying in bed,
I'll put a bullet in my head,
Mama's got six dogs, Daddy never sleeps at night.
Now one will lick his ass, another one passes gas,
And they take all the blankets that should cover my ass!
And they do it all night,
Then one will start a fight,
Mama's got six dogs, Daddy never sleeps at night.
They climb up and down, and up and down,
And up and down, and up and down,
And they do it all night, then one will start a fight,
Mama's got six dogs, Daddy never sleeps at night.
De-flea me! Won't you de-flea me!
De-flea me if you please,
I'm tired of scratching fleas,
Mama's got six dogs, Daddy never sleeps at night.
Showing posts with label Sophie. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sophie. Show all posts
Saturday, April 23, 2011
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Mike's Petting Zoo
This is re-posted in memory of Sophie.
It is nice to know that you are wanted. There is nothing better than knowing that when you get home after a hard day’s work there are going to be a host of people waiting for you to walk through the door.
Well I am a lucky guy because that is the world I live in… except the folks waiting for me are my pets. For those of you who have not read "The True Adventures of Wilbur the Pig" or “Big Daddy’s Blues”, I have six dogs, a pot-bellied pig, and a cat; and they all love me.
They love me because they know that “The big softy” is home and they will all get lots of love and affection. Many of my days I leave for work at 5:30am, and don't get back home until 10pm. That is a long day for anyone, but I make sure everyone gets some loving before I go to bed.
I go out on my back patio and put on my favorite radio show (The Mike O’Meara Show); then I wait for the parade of animals. The dogs are always first, running around jockeying for position, trying to see who can get first whacks at daddy.
The first one is normally the largest Simon. Simon is a HUGE Rottweiler. He is basically mommy’s boy, but he never misses a chance with daddy. Second is Princess, she is most senior dog in the household and that carries a lot of weight. Princess is a golden lab mix and the sweetest dog you ever met. Third in line is Bobby. Bobby is basically my dog; he always sits with me on the patio acting as my bodyguard. Bobby is a Doberman mix breed.
The next dog to come to the plate is Buddy. Buddy is a golden lab, and I call him the “love sponge”, because he will soak up as much loving as you are willing to give. I also call Buddy “the landmine”, because as I walk through the house he will get in my way and lie down with his belly up. Buddy knows that if he can time it just right, he will get a “ten second belly rub” which he lives for. After Buddy is finally shooed away, Chloe comes up for her turn. Chloe is an old American Bulldog, and very set in her ways. She is very lady like, but she makes sure daddy gives her what she needs. Sophie is the newest, and last of the dogs. Sophie is a smaller mixed breed, and enjoys being petted almost as much as Buddy.
After all the dogs have been petted, and loved, Wilbur knows that it is now his turn. Wilbur is my pot bellied pig. Wilbur is very smart, he knows how to approach daddy to get what he wants. He comes up along side of my chair and nuzzles my arm. Once he knows he has my attention, he lies down on the floor with his belly facing me. I know he wants it, but I am going to tease him. I start stroking his nose, and then I rub behind his ears. After a minute I slowly move to rubbing under his chin. The hair on the back of his neck stands straight up! He knows he is going to get it and he is filled with anticipation. I slowly give him what he wants as I slide my hand down to his belly and gently rub it. Wilbur loves having his belly rubbed!
When my back finally gets stiff from leaning over and rubbing his belly, I put Wilbur to bed so I can have some peaceful time to myself. That’s when my cat Molly jumps into my lap.
Oh well, at least I don't have to bend over or kill myself to pet a cat.
It is nice to know that you are wanted. There is nothing better than knowing that when you get home after a hard day’s work there are going to be a host of people waiting for you to walk through the door.
Well I am a lucky guy because that is the world I live in… except the folks waiting for me are my pets. For those of you who have not read "The True Adventures of Wilbur the Pig" or “Big Daddy’s Blues”, I have six dogs, a pot-bellied pig, and a cat; and they all love me.
They love me because they know that “The big softy” is home and they will all get lots of love and affection. Many of my days I leave for work at 5:30am, and don't get back home until 10pm. That is a long day for anyone, but I make sure everyone gets some loving before I go to bed.
I go out on my back patio and put on my favorite radio show (The Mike O’Meara Show); then I wait for the parade of animals. The dogs are always first, running around jockeying for position, trying to see who can get first whacks at daddy.
The first one is normally the largest Simon. Simon is a HUGE Rottweiler. He is basically mommy’s boy, but he never misses a chance with daddy. Second is Princess, she is most senior dog in the household and that carries a lot of weight. Princess is a golden lab mix and the sweetest dog you ever met. Third in line is Bobby. Bobby is basically my dog; he always sits with me on the patio acting as my bodyguard. Bobby is a Doberman mix breed.
The next dog to come to the plate is Buddy. Buddy is a golden lab, and I call him the “love sponge”, because he will soak up as much loving as you are willing to give. I also call Buddy “the landmine”, because as I walk through the house he will get in my way and lie down with his belly up. Buddy knows that if he can time it just right, he will get a “ten second belly rub” which he lives for. After Buddy is finally shooed away, Chloe comes up for her turn. Chloe is an old American Bulldog, and very set in her ways. She is very lady like, but she makes sure daddy gives her what she needs. Sophie is the newest, and last of the dogs. Sophie is a smaller mixed breed, and enjoys being petted almost as much as Buddy.
After all the dogs have been petted, and loved, Wilbur knows that it is now his turn. Wilbur is my pot bellied pig. Wilbur is very smart, he knows how to approach daddy to get what he wants. He comes up along side of my chair and nuzzles my arm. Once he knows he has my attention, he lies down on the floor with his belly facing me. I know he wants it, but I am going to tease him. I start stroking his nose, and then I rub behind his ears. After a minute I slowly move to rubbing under his chin. The hair on the back of his neck stands straight up! He knows he is going to get it and he is filled with anticipation. I slowly give him what he wants as I slide my hand down to his belly and gently rub it. Wilbur loves having his belly rubbed!
When my back finally gets stiff from leaning over and rubbing his belly, I put Wilbur to bed so I can have some peaceful time to myself. That’s when my cat Molly jumps into my lap.
Oh well, at least I don't have to bend over or kill myself to pet a cat.
Saturday, April 9, 2011
Good Bye Best Friend
Is there anything worse than to wake up in the morning and to find your best friend lying dead? Anyone who has ever owned a dog or a cat for a pet knows what I mean. Everything seems just fine, then you go to bed one night and wake up to find your friend gone. No warning, and no chance to say good bye; just gone. Here one day, gone the next.
This is what all pet lovers, and pet owners go through one time or another. Maybe it's not a dog or a cat, maybe it's a pet guinnea pig, parrot, or ferret; whenever you lose a friend it hurts, especially when it comes unexpectedly. There is nothing you can do or say, and you are always left with an empty pit where your stomach once was.
People who don't have pets will have trouble understanding this. People who don't have pets will never understand the unconditional love that pets give, and how they give you the chance to give it. Few things in life help us learn how to open our heart to give love, as much as owning a pet.
So, as I say good bye to my old friend, I just want to take this time to thank you for teaching me how to give love, and how to accept it. Thanks for always making me feel loved even when I didn't feel very lovable. I hope some how, some way, I made you feel the same way my friend.
This is what all pet lovers, and pet owners go through one time or another. Maybe it's not a dog or a cat, maybe it's a pet guinnea pig, parrot, or ferret; whenever you lose a friend it hurts, especially when it comes unexpectedly. There is nothing you can do or say, and you are always left with an empty pit where your stomach once was.
People who don't have pets will have trouble understanding this. People who don't have pets will never understand the unconditional love that pets give, and how they give you the chance to give it. Few things in life help us learn how to open our heart to give love, as much as owning a pet.
So, as I say good bye to my old friend, I just want to take this time to thank you for teaching me how to give love, and how to accept it. Thanks for always making me feel loved even when I didn't feel very lovable. I hope some how, some way, I made you feel the same way my friend.
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