A Day In the Life (Of Me At 73)

I am a middle-aged guy. I recently turned 53. Like most middle-aged people, my body is showing the signs of wear and tear. My hearing is getting worse, my hair is starting to show a touch of gray, my old wrestling injuries are coming back to nag me, I forget where I left my keys, etc., etc.






They say that the 50's are the youth of old age; well, if that's the case, I'm not sure I want to find out how the "geezer" days of old age are going to turn out. With that in mind, I have a song depicting how I envision life twenty years from now. It's sung to the tune of " A Day In the Life " by the Beatles:










 




I woke up today, oh boy!






I'm still alive, I see, what a joy!






Went down to eat some breakfast,






But it just had to wait,






I couldn't masticate (My teeth are gone).






I saw a dirty film today, oh boy!






I got an erection, a rare joy!






I went and showed it to my wife,






Thought I might get a poke,






But she just cracked a joke!






I don't turn....her....on!






Stood up, to stretch my back,






But my muscles started to cramp.






I went to the bar and had a shot,






I was in a spot (if you know what I mean).






Fell down, and grabbed my thigh,






Took some pills to get me by,






I crawled outside to have a smoke,






But I had a stroke






And I let out a big scream...






Ahhh, Ah, Ah, Ahhh, Ah, Ah, Ahhh, Ah, Ah, Ahhhh!






Ahhh, Ah, Ah, Ahhh, Ah, Ah, Ahhh, Ah, Ah, Ahhhh!






I saw the Doc today, oh boy!






"Fit as a fiddle," he said, oh what joy!






He said I'd live to see ninety-three,






But I just had to cringe,






Gotta get some booze because I'm goin' on a binge!






I can't go onnnnnnnnn.......!