Sunday, May 22, 2011

A Day In the Life (Of Me At 73)

I am a middle-aged guy. I recently turned 53. Like most middle-aged people, my body is showing the signs of wear and tear. My hearing is getting worse, my hair is starting to show a touch of gray, my old wrestling injuries are coming back to nag me, I forget where I left my keys, etc., etc.

They say that the 50's are the youth of old age; well, if that's the case, I'm not sure I want to find out how the "geezer" days of old age are going to turn out. With that in mind, I have a song depicting how I envision life twenty years from now. It's sung to the tune of " A Day In the Life " by the Beatles:


I woke up today, oh boy!

I'm still alive, I see, what a joy!

Went down to eat some breakfast,

But it just had to wait,

I couldn't masticate (My teeth are gone).

I saw a dirty film today, oh boy!

I got an erection, a rare joy!

I went and showed it to my wife,

Thought I might get a poke,

But she just cracked a joke!

I don't turn....her....on!

Stood up, to stretch my back,

But my muscles started to cramp.

I went to the bar and had a shot,

I was in a spot (if you know what I mean).

Fell down, and grabbed my thigh,

Took some pills to get me by,

I crawled outside to have a smoke,

But I had a stroke

And I let out a big scream...

Ahhh, Ah, Ah, Ahhh, Ah, Ah, Ahhh, Ah, Ah, Ahhhh!

Ahhh, Ah, Ah, Ahhh, Ah, Ah, Ahhh, Ah, Ah, Ahhhh!

I saw the Doc today, oh boy!

"Fit as a fiddle," he said, oh what joy!

He said I'd live to see ninety-three,

But I just had to cringe,

Gotta get some booze because I'm goin' on a binge!

I can't go onnnnnnnnn.......!
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This site is more a column than a blog. I write humorous, spiritual, and political articles. Everything I write is designed to make you think; what you think is up to you.