Communication is the giving, and receiving of information. This article is about the receiving process, listening. Communication, is by definition, a give, and take of ideas, and needs. Too often, when we discuss something, we state our views, then mark time thinking of what we will say next, instead of truly listening to what the other person has to say.
How many times have you been in a group conversation, when everyone is so avid about what they want to say, that the whole conversation turns into a shouting match? We all have something to say, but without the patience to listen, communication breaks down into your average day on "The View".
Between everyone thinking they are right, and the mental clutter going on when you are not talking, it is a wonder anyone can learn anything.
Nobody learns anything by talking, only by listening. All wise people have one thing in common, they are good listeners. Perhaps that is why they are wise, they have mastered the art of listening.
Here is a great book for you to check out (I feel like Oprah), its called "the Zen of Listening" by Rebecca Z. Shafir, M.A.CCC. Ms. Shafir goes into detail how one can become a good listener. By mastering the art of listening, you open the door to learning, and you open the door to better relationships. This is true for any relationship, your spouse, your child, your boss, your employee, etc.
As important as it is to express yourself, it is more important to receive what the other person has to say, only then, can you work things out; only then, can you learn and grow together.
How many times have you been in a group conversation, when everyone is so avid about what they want to say, that the whole conversation turns into a shouting match? We all have something to say, but without the patience to listen, communication breaks down into your average day on "The View".
Between everyone thinking they are right, and the mental clutter going on when you are not talking, it is a wonder anyone can learn anything.
Nobody learns anything by talking, only by listening. All wise people have one thing in common, they are good listeners. Perhaps that is why they are wise, they have mastered the art of listening.
Here is a great book for you to check out (I feel like Oprah), its called "the Zen of Listening" by Rebecca Z. Shafir, M.A.CCC. Ms. Shafir goes into detail how one can become a good listener. By mastering the art of listening, you open the door to learning, and you open the door to better relationships. This is true for any relationship, your spouse, your child, your boss, your employee, etc.
As important as it is to express yourself, it is more important to receive what the other person has to say, only then, can you work things out; only then, can you learn and grow together.
5 comments:
I remember doing this exercise in college called "active listening". I thought it was asinine at the time, but the concept makes some sense. So much of the time we hear others talking we aren't listening at all; we're just formulating our response as we wait for them to shut up. That's probably not the most productive way to communicate.
Hi Gucci Mama! You are right, and we all are guilty of it. We mark time thinking what we are going to say next that we are not actively listening.
Hi Ashley! Believe it or not I just heart the shit out of you.
A question - who do you think are better listeners (in general)? Women? Or men?
A question - who do you think are better listeners (in general)? Women? Or men?
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