Friday, November 7, 2008

Hot Flashes

Back in the fall of 1973, I was a young freshman at the University of Miami. I was given a room at the older dorm, Mahoney Hall. There was no air conditioning in our room so the September nights were often pillow-soaked experiences.

Late in that month, they installed a room air conditioner. My roommate, Andy, and I thought this would be our salvation. We were wrong. It led to us not rooming together the next year. Why? The reason was, I like it cool, and he liked it cold.

I had a job at the campus bakery that started at 5:00am, so I normally would be in bed by 9:30 or 10:00pm. He had a rich dad so he went to bed whenever he felt like it. The problem was I would set the air conditioner on low when I went to bed, and Andy would come in later and set it on high. At 4:15 in the morning, I would wake up to a frosty greeting.

Now, I grew up in upstate NY, and the reason I went to UM was to avoid frosty mornings. So the fact that I found myself freezing, dancing around on the cold tile floor, trying to dodge snow flakes, quickly lost its appeal to me. So long, Andy.

Turn the clock ahead 30 years...Here I am, once again living in Miami (because I got real sick of being cold). Everything was going great until my wife started going through menopause. She started experiencing "hot flashes". I really don't understand why they call them "flashes" because she is always having one! They really aren't "hot moments" either. Let's just call them "hot four-years-and-running, never-ending periods" of her life.

So, here I am, with a room air conditioner in my bedroom, cranked to high -- every night. I still have to work at 5:00am, but since the commute is 26 miles, I now get to dance around on cold tiles, and avoid snow flakes, at 3:15am. It's even worse after my hot shower, and I come out of my bathroom hopping around like a Mexican jumping bean as I try to get dressed. What a funny "America's Funniest Home Videos" segment that would make!

Except that I'm naked, and all.

I'm thinking Andy wasn't so bad after all. At least he never nagged me.
Post a Comment

About Me

My photo

This site is more a column than a blog. I write humorous, spiritual, and political articles. Everything I write is designed to make you think; what you think is up to you.