You Said, I Said

Everyone is probably familiar with the phrase "he said, she said", in which a couple is fighting and neither can see anything from the other person's point of view. Each person is so wrapped up in their thoughts, and feelings that it is impossible to see that each person is correct, and each person is wrong; all at the same time.

This situation is true, not only with inter-sexual relationships, but with all conflicts in general. The reason for this is the inability to empathize outside ourselves. Empathy is the ability, or rather the gift, to be able to put yourself in someone's position, and feel their feelings. It is a sign of higher development in one's spiritual growth.

No one does something without a reason. Empathy is not an agreement with someone else, it is a knowing of where someone else stands and why. It is the ability to understand, and perhaps feel what the other person feels. When both sides of a dispute, or conflict, open themselves to empathize with the other side; resolution is the inevitable ending. This usually comes about in a form of compromise between the two parties.

When there is no attempt, or an inability to empathize, hostility is the inevitable result. In the case of two nations, this means war; in the case of interpersonal relationships this means a divorce, or violence. These are the situations where everybody loses.

Sadly, empathy is not taught in our schools. Most people have to learn it by trial, and error. Some people never learn it. The next time you find yourself in a dispute, take a time out, and try to see things from the other person's point of view. Chances are, the other person will reciprocate. That's when everybody wins.

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I Am Man, Hear Me Whine

Back in the early '70s, Helen Reddy had a hit song called, "I Am Woman", in which she starts out, "I am woman, hear me roar", which I thought was hokey, and all. I still do. But now that I am older, I realize that she was right.

Women do all the roaring, while us guys do all the whining. I should know. I am a man.

Why do men whine? I don't know, but I believe it has something to do with the male DNA. I remember when I was nine, and my mom wouldn't let me go over to Doug's house because his parent's both worked, and we may get into trouble. I'd say, "Come on, Mom, I'll be good!"

It didn't work.

When I was fourteen, I asked my dad if I could go to Woodstock. After a few seconds of contemplation he said, "No, you're too young." I responded, "Dad, I'm almost fifteen. Please let me go!"

Unfortunately, it still didn't work.

Almost forty years later, I still whine when I don't get my way -- and it still doesn't work. You would think that I would adjust. Change my game plan, so to speak. But no, I'm not that smart.

You see, I am married.

You ladies can laugh (which I know you are), but how else can a guy get his needs met?

"Honey, I have no clean shirts for work tomorrow."
"Why didn't anyone make coffee this morning?"
"C'mon, honey, it's Monday night!"
"I have no cookies for bedtime!"
"Your Lifetime Movie channel is turned up too loud!"
...

If whining were an art form, I'd be Piccasso. The truth is, I whine because it does work (once in a while).

She'll do almost anything to get me to shut up.
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