I own a house. And like most houses, it occasionally needs routine maintenance. Well routine for most people. However, there is nothing routine about maintenance, when I am involved. Most people think that I am a pretty intelligent person (people who don't know me well anyway), but I just can't seem to get the knack of home repair. No matter how easy the job might appear, I end up making it look like I'm trying to tackle the "Manhattan Project".
So, for me, and all other inept people like me, I've written a song. It is sung to the tune of "I Want Candy by The Strangeloves.
"I own a house, and things look bleak. The paint is peeling, and the roof does leak.
Can't change a bulb, without falling off the ladder, My wife she holds it, but that don't matter.
I'm not handy! I'm not handy!
Got a clogged sink, and the frig. don't work. I should fix 'em, but I'm a jerk.
I don't know pliers from a wrench, can't even find my work bench.
I'm not handy! I'm not handy!
Got a bad water heater, and a gutter that dangles, There's nothing 'round here that I can't mangle.
Got a broken window and a ripped screen, if it gets any worse, I'm gonna scream!
I'm not handy! I'm not handy!...NO!
If, a wire gets a short, I'll touch the wrong one and get a jolt.
Got hospital bills by the pile, I keep 9-1-1 on speed dial.
I'm not handy! I'm not handy!"
Hi Ashley! Your hubby can't be as bad as me...I hope.
ReplyDeleteI say we send Prince Charming bowling with you and CB's hubby. While you're gone, CB and I will fix everything and drink up the beer stash!
ReplyDeleteHi PWT and CB, I don't want to go bowling, I want to drink and watch porn with you guys.
ReplyDeleteThe Princess and I will have to convene and get back to you mikey!
ReplyDelete